The other thing is to remember how easily H can be put on the defensive if he starts to feel vulnerable or attacked. B/c we have been having slightly more relaxed interactions, H will be more suspicious and sensitive to interpreting anything I do as pursuing. If I let down my more twilight distance I've been using, H - feeling a bit vulnerable - will so completely not read it as a positive thing and I will become once more the thing he needs to get out of his life to feel better. I know this, and so I am having to NOT interact any differently now than before the kindness started. (Thanks Michele and others for that guidance!)
Anne, could you elaborate on this a little more. Are they saying that if H acts nicer to you, do not change your behavior towards him or he will back off?
Me45 H45 D13 S10 together-23 years married-21 years MLC Divorced 10/3/07 Married to a wonderful new man.
