I read some of your sitch after I saw Jen had linked me. I do not know how you have carried on after your H has had A's.
I think my H now sees how something he thinks was silly has upset me to the point I am thinking I might leave after all the hard work I put in DBg last year.
I have thought as you say that maybe she put it there hoping I would open it first. The only scenario I can think of that would make my H's version believable is that he texted her a lot while we were separated and so did she as they were helping each other through similar situations. He told me this all along although sometimes I was far from sure I believed that was all it was. Anyway, maybe when he has stopped texting her so much when he moved back in because he didn't need to talk to anyone about our M anymore she has felt annoyed that he "used" her to talk to and now she has noone to talk to about her problem, so maybe in her twisted mind she thought if I found this letter it would make our M rocky again and he would start texting her again. This is the only thing I can think of if my H is telling the truth.
Yeah they do work together only not in same building anymore thankfully. My H was on leave when she delivered it so she was obviously really desparate he get the letter and couldn't wait until he returned to work the following week. I also pointed out to him that she has had to deliver it whilst we are in bed for us to have not seen her come down the path to the letter box! Crazy crazy person just for that! And what you say about my H forgetting because it wasn't important to him this is exactly what he is saying. He now says he's sure he texted her to basically say WTH?? and then it was all forgotten about because he just saw it as a silly misunderstanding.
Funny your H coming out with "what gives you the right?" my H said exactly the same when I asked him to stop texting her when he first moved back home. He said it was no different to texting a male colleague and he wasn't going to be dictated to about who he could or couldn't speak to - and now look where it has landed him (if he is telling the truth). Maybe now he will see what I meant about being too friendly with members of the opposite sex when you're married. Everyone thought it was out of order but him.
In my case it has taken more months to "fix" the M than we have been married. We have been married 7 years in a couple of months and it was "bad" for almost 3 yet we were separated for 4 months and have been back together for 6 months.
Thank you so much for your post it helped that you think some things the same as me. I have asked him over and over, even before he came back home and he has always said they were just texting each other about each other's R problems. I have also told him to just tell me and he has actually said he thinks I would find it easier if he said he had and that that should prove he isn't lieing. I dunno, maybe he is telling the truth but I just can't believe someone would be so crazy.
