I haven't had access to a computer for a few days. I'm back in the house. I came back because I couldn't do another minute away from my children. If I'm going to sleep on the floor of a house, why not my floor in my house? I can take it. My D10 must have hugged me 20 times Friday night. It was her birthday party, I came back for that and made up my mind standing there. My brother, FIL, MIL, SIL and my parents all were telling me to not leave the house. They are concerned about the choices my W has been making. They all say the same thing, they just don't know who the heck she is anymore. They are worried about the kids. My D11 did all the cleaning and decorating for D10s b-day party. Otherwise it wouldn't have been done. If I'm not there, who knows what will happen.
Its fathers day. Happy fathers day everyone. My FIL just called to tell me he expects to see me at the fathers day dinner they are preparing now. W was planning to take the kids there, no mention was made of me going. My FIL was livid. I don't know what to make of all of this. I want to be with my kids today but I don't want to be in the middle of a fight between FIL and W. He has told her he strongly disapproves of her actions.
Things were trucking along, W is talking about getting new furniture, painting rooms, taking trips together and then bam! "Either you leave or I will take the kids and leave".
WTF?!?!
When I came back Friday night I told her the following; this is my home too, my children too. I have a right to be available to them every moment possible barring work. I can't be that if I don't live here. They need me, my absence wrecked them. She said I will have to get used to that. I told her I understand but I will wait until a court order tells me I can't be here. She threatened to get a L and "get you out of here". I didn't respond. I told her I understand you don't want to be a wife, she interrupted and said, "no, I don't want to be YOUR wife". Okay. I didn't respond. I told her that we can't afford for me to live somewhere else right now. The finances just aren't there. She said it sucks that I want to force her to live with me just because of money. I told her I didn't want to force anything. It's simply reality, we can't afford it. You don't have to be a wife, then be a good roommate. Get a job and start paying half of everything, soon as possible.
I did mess up. I was pissed from her constant comments, ie; I don't want to be your wife, I don't want to be anywhere near you, I can't stand the thought of being in the same room as you, if you were really sorry as you have said you are about everything you would be willing to do whatever you have to do to let me keep the house and get on my feet....
I finally said, look, get a job, have half the mortgage by July 1, and half the mortgage plus half the utilities by August 1. Then I left to go get my stuff from my brothers house.
I was called a jerk, [censored] and [censored] more times in that 10 minute period then I have been in the entirety of my life. I did okay taking it and staying on track. I did lash out in the end with the timetable. I know it's impossible for her to come up with half in 2 weeks. I was just pissed. How do I repair that? Do I even try?
I don't know. Friday she spent the day at the gym and tanning while my D11 cleaned and decorated the house. Thursday after asking me to leave, she went to a club with her friend to spend money we don't have on her night out. The W I knew before would have spent that money on taking our kids to get ice cream or something similar, if there was only so much money for social activities it went towards the kids, now it goes towards trashing her liver. I don't know how concerned I should be about kicking her in the butt regarding getting a job and contributing something besides insults.
