Posted to me on the infedelity board,, I have come to realize I need to be in the married to an achoholic board and that is even hard for me to type much less accept to be the truth. This is going to be one hard journey...
Alimari, we are as crazy as they are, if we accept their abuse and then internalize it. Partners of alcholics get dragged through the mud unless they step back and don't react in a hurt way. Those affairs are addictions, you know?
Get some distance on your husband. Be glad he is away. Be polite and cheerful but do not engage in his drunky excitement. They enjoy that as much as the buzz from drinking. The drama of make-up and break-up can get to be part of the 'fun' for them.
Making a decision to stay straight myself {our best times have been cooking happy dinners while drinking like pirates...} and then waiting for my husband to figure it out on his own is difficult for me. It means we will have to re-invent.
You have to cold heartedly put good healthy plans in place of sad waiting and worrying. Gradually, your good feeling will become more of a habit and less forced. Get brave enough to look at things the way they ARE, not how they were or how you think they could be.
Start with deep breathing and counting. That works to interrupt the panicky anger. I have finally understood that the sick, scared moments are temporary and that it is possible to rotate through them without over reacting.
My big goal each day is to not make things worse for myself or for him.
