her sister's counselor? OMG it just gets better and better....
gotta go, but wanted to say that. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Hummmm.... when your wife spoke about hoping the girls be good women like herself you probably should have said... "Well, you are a role model for them and I'm sure they will probably learn from that and make similar choises." The trick is not to be condesending or negative, but to say this nicely. It will make her think about who she is without being combative toward you. Try to never be mean or condescending because then she only thinks about how much she dislikes you and how much better she is without you, rather than examining herself.
Gosh, this is great she wants to see MIL!!! That's positive. I would encourage that. It's family
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
As long as your mom can be cordial then I think them being together is okay. I spent some time with my MIL during the divorce. We just stayed away from talking about it and tried to be positive around the kids. I think it was a good thing because it was a reminder to my husband how far family extends. I've always been pretty close with her. If your mom doesn't feel comfortable then she shouldn't have to be around her. Also, if your mother is one to share confidential information then it might be wise not to have them together. I think it all depends on your mom and how she handles things.
Last night I happened to catch the movie... gosh I can't think of the name of it, Reese Witherspoon... something Alabama... where she wants to divorce her husband so she can marry someone else, and he's putting it off... even though it's a movie there's some things in it that seem a little DBish. Kind of a cute movie.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Hummmm.... when your wife spoke about hoping the girls be good women like herself you probably should have said... "Well, you are a role model for them and I'm sure they will probably learn from that and make similar choises."
ROOT next time my W emails me I am going to let you respond for me. You are right this would have been a great way for me to say something great about my W to my W and not look like I am trying to win her over.
Quote:
Gosh, this is great she wants to see MIL!!! That's positive. I would encourage that. It's family
I believe that my mom will actually go hangout with my W and girls. Although it seems unuasually to my mom, she would be doing it to see the girls. My responce to my parents and anyone else for that matter is to try and treat my W the same as always. She is still the mother of my kids and that will never change. Try to love her as best you can. That is the message that I am delivering to people who know.
As for the Reese Witherspoon movie, I saw that years ago on a date with my W. Maybe I should watch it again to get some pointers.
I did see a movie tonight with a friend of mine. We went and saw Pirates III. This was again another reminder for me of my W. I saw the first two on dates with her. Tonight I saw it with one of my buddies. Not that I don't love my friend, but it is much different seeing a movie with him instead of my W.
Tomorrow I am going golfing in the morning with a buddy of mine and then heading into the city to hangout at the beach. Sunday is my day so I will have the girls all day, church in the morning, lunch with my parents, and then whatever I decide after that.
I got home from work yesterday to an empty house. I went and saw a movie last night with a good friend of mine. He and his W are having problems rightnow so I am hoping I can help him before his sitch gets as bad as mine. I slept in our bed for the first time last night since I came home from San Fran a while back... It was nice sleeping in our bed. Even though my W was not in it, it felt good some what normal to me. Sad isn't it.... I got up this morning and went golfing with a friend of mine and his dad. They came to my house afterwards and watched a baseball game. I grilled and we drank beer. I am going to their house tonight for dinner since my girls will not be home until later tonight. My W did stop by shortly to get my fathers day present for the girls to wrap. There was not a whole lot of interaction between the two of us, but I was not really expecting her to come home. I need to do some grocery shopping tonight and then I will be off to my friends house for dinner.
I really am looking forward to tomorrow with my girls. Even though I feel a void with my W not being around, I feel best when I am with my girls. They are awesome kids....
Here are some pics of me and my girls on our last two trips... [url=ercandgirls.shutterfly.com/action/?a=0AZNmrVo2ctWLio]ERC and his girls[/url]
I just recieved a call from my W telling me that she needs a place of her own. She only has a room, not a home. The girls are always on the go and need a home. When you and I have them we are always on the go. I cannot keep doing this to 5D. They need a home.
I told her that I understood how she feels but did not know what to say to her.
Well lady I provide you a home and I am providing a home for the girls. I am sorry that you do not feel that it is home, but I will not help you get another home.
She also told me that she cannot get pre-approved for a loan. She tried and was denied. I think she is looking for me to help her out. I will not do that. She filed for D, I am done trying to help her out. I will provide for my girls and if she is willing she can enjoy all that I am providing for them. I will not go out of my way to help her get a place of her own.
BTW, I went gorcery shopping tonight and stocked up our house. I never realized how much we spend on groceries. Anyways we should be good for a while.
ERC, Sorry to high jack your thread but I wanted to apologize to you and any one else that may have been offended by my response to H&A. We are all hurting and I shouldn't have reponded to him in kind. We all process things in our own way, I should have realized that he was going on his own journey and I did not know where he was coming from. Anyway, I wasn't very supportive and I hope he comes back and gets back in the fight. I'll take my humble pie ala mode please!
AndyV M38 W36 D7 M 13 years Together 17 years W wants D mid Dec 06 (ring off) W wants separation early Jan 07 (she backdated to Oct 06) EA revealed end March 07 (Nov 06 W first meeting with OM) Hallmark moment "I care for you but am no longer in love with you."
Interesting that she is leaving you for a man that cares about his children so much that he is going to leave them and be a weekend dad. And she accepts that because does she honestly want 4 kids 2 weeks a month?
Your wife keeps bringing up how much she misses the kids, wants the best for the kids, etc, because she is struggling with the fact that her own selfishness is going to break the family up and hurt them. Granted that voice is really quiet right now, and the devil on her shoulder is screaming at the top of his lungs.
Its really good you don't respond to her crazy comments defensively or with sarcasm, the quieter you are the sane voice in her head gets louder for you.
