I know exactly where you're at. I chose to fight for my M when H dropped the bomb in January. We have 3 little boys. The things H said and did still make me sick to my stomach so I try not to *dwell*.

I have chosen to stay and I am beginning to be the very strong-willed woman he married. That woman was lost for a time.

At times, though, I kind of look at my H's latest pics before he left for his deployment and wonder "who are you?" I don't see him the same way and sometimes I wonder if I love him the same way, but I've chosen to just go from here and "see" him and "love" him in the new way or learn to love & see him in the new way whatever way that may be.

I'm going to visit him in late August w/o the boys. I'm hoping it will be a new beginning for us. We were really only "good" for about a month before he left. I think the time alone, almost like another honeymoon, will be really good for us.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10