First, I must tell you all that though I’ve often been fortunate in my life to benefit “from the kindness of strangers”, I’ve never been treated so unfailingly kindly and touched so deeply by any, unknown-in-person folks, as you all. And yet our bond of dealing with the most sensitive parts of our hearts has knit us closer together than many people ever experience in friendships. I have been very, very fortunate to have experienced what is now profound healing within myself and with my husband and I want to tell you that it has been this group of people and those from the marriage builders site that started this healing. Because YOU restored my faith in the human spirit’s ability to connect with goodness when the way seems impossible. I will always be grateful to those who poured out their hearts and love in search of healing for themselves and others.
I want to tell you, especially those of you who are still in the pain that I remember so well, a story of how this happened in my life and to remind you that so often healing occurs in ways that are unimaginable. My husband gave his mistress the name “rainbow” and I thought I would never have rainbows in my life again. I was grateful that the lullaby I most often sang my granddaughter was preserved with new and painful meaning: Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Well, we’ve just gotten back from a wonderful and very meaningful (too long and a different story to tell) vacation with our daughter and her family and I saw something I had never imagined could happen. We were all together by some beautiful green mountains and at the feet of the mountains, completely filling the entire valley (ah, what a pondering this has stirred in me) in huge bands, with no arch, was the most vibrant rainbow I’ve ever seen. Actually, since it had no bow I’d say it was one of those things that we ought to have named in our language but haven’t! However, the moment I saw it, it seemed to me like the last bit of color and life from that woman’s ghost that has so long tormented me was drained (she has been long dead and gone for my H). Just like a baby will never be the same after taking a first step, after seeing that phenomenon, I was changed. Now, I’m sure that the analogy holds true that just like that baby I will fall down many times while learning this phase of walking through this life but what I thought could never happen, happened and that is, in my mind, the best miracle, a miracle of the spirit that frees a soul…. Perhaps this is expressed a bit over the top but what can I say, it does represent how I feel and I think you all will understand! Awesome, wonderful, unexpected gifts can come in this life folks, even though you can’t imagine how.
Two other realizations were important to me: that whether or not my husband and I had become reconciled, my rainbows would have somehow been restored, that this happened solely within me. The other was that I didn’t seek the rainbow, in good time it came to me.
While I wish no one’s rainbow was ever taken away, I’m confident we will all find them again someday.
