Jen Jam put a link to your thread in my post. Yesterday I posted in the infedilety forum. Just like you I dunno what possesed me to "look" but I did. MY H recieved 3 calls from some *W* who insisted he call her back. I dunno why but after he talked to me yesterday , I called him to see how the sushi was ( he was out to eat)I decided to check his VM ( his phone died). And this is someone different not the OW he had and still displays a Tattoo of her name above his heart. I am over that but this is too much.

I feel your anguish and funny I was going to post to you the other day when I read @ the letter and then I got too busy. I was going to say yeah it is either he is telling the truth and this *W* is off her rocker or he loves you waaaaaaaaaay toooo much to hurt you and tell you the truth. MY H did this!

After reading thru your thread again today your H and mine have similarities and they clearly do not see how much their "silly" behavior hurts. For me it has been a rollercoaster of emotions as well and now 10 months in it seemed to be getting so much better.
as far as your sitch goes....
I am not saying you do not need to set boundaries please do so.
Did you ever think she put it there so you could possibly find it and not H?
Why couldnt she have just dropped it off to him at work didnt you mention they work together?
This is all so crazy how the OW think they have so much power they are nothing and that is why they resort to this BS!!
Mission accomplished for her cause now you are hurt.... and do you know how when something is not that important to you and you kinda just forget about it? Maybe , just maybe he forgot is was there? DUNNO just my 2 cents.. and when he did not feel well the other day,, my H does this,, ( GUILT?) maybe it is b/c he feels so bad for hurting you. THEY do inexplicable things THAT to a rational person we think WHAT????? and then later cant seem to figure out why you are hurt.

I am sure you want to choke him as I do my H but she did this for a reason and when push comes to shove and in her eyes you won she was going to stop at noting to poison you and your M.
By all means set boundaries and kick some ass but remember that they do these things just in DESPERATE hopes to get your H's attention.

MY H's OW would send him photos and he kept them and he even once said ( and we were reconciled and he was still an alien) How dare you erase them what gives you the right? HMMMMMMMMMM I AM YOUR WIFE I THOUGHT.
I had erased one coming in he was sleeping and somehow she must have asked him????? He kept a VM from her for 5 weeks and I just wanted to hurt him. It will get easier and he ( your h) seems to be willing and that is half the battle.
;\)
THEY DO AT TIMES SEEM LIKE DUMB ANIMALS and my H acts as if he has a fuzzy memory during all this time with her and our seperation. The affair is like an addiction and I do believe they say and do things that rarely if ever come from the heart.and then some sort of amnesia sets in. MY H just mentioned OW the other day like we were talking about groceries or someething and the look on my face MUST HAVE said it all he immediately shut up and blushed and he is dark complected so he was thinking holy sh*t she is going to throw something at me. DARN, I wasnt wearing my stilettos that day and mostly I am over it but I do not want to talk about it!!!!!!!

It took my H five months to tell me she begged and pleaded and he said he was done no more. etc etc and so forth... I was never sure if he was really done.
They say it takes one month for every year of M to repair it IE 10 years 10 months and that has been the case for me up until yesterday!!!! I just started to settle in and feel like hey this is going to work ?


So anyway I hope I helped some I did ramble on a lot.... this subject I could talk about for hours.
I wouldnt talk him to death but definitely let him know how you are feeling and that you arent trying to ... I dunno just let him know you need to know the truth and can handle it in order for you to move on , and get better.
It will hurt to hear if he does tell you but then you will know and if he cant them maybe just maybe he is telling the truth and she is just one crazy bitch.
Just my 2 cents but I hope I helped,, I know exactly how you feel ~like he is laughing at you somehow or you are being a fool for loving him and you love him so much and it just plain hurts.
Take care sweetie and God bless... all my best to you honey,, stay strong and remember your worth! ;\)