Thankyou so much for writing about this Strange - I have been having exactly the same feelings.
I'm about to move into a great new apartment (chosen with me and my cats in mind - not for W if she decides to come back), I've bought new clothes, seeing more of my friends who have been taking me to places I'd have never gone to with my W - and I'm REALLY beginnning to feel - 'hell I can do this!'.
This isn't to say I don't have my negative moments - but I can now pull myself out of them quicker - and they are far, far fewer. I still think about my sitch daily / hourly but I am 'coping' far better.
It really is a sense of lack of caring what W does - fine - see the OM who you used describe as dull and boring (now he's your soulmate - yeah right!)- stuff up your life - in the meantime I'm getting one of my own - with or without you.
Would I still have her back - sure - but in the meantime I want to find me again - and it's time for me to play 'caretaker' for myself for a change. I know it's still going to rattle me sometimes - but this bb and my friends will be there to catch me if I trip.
I hope this IS detachment - I still do love my W deeply - but sorry - I'm too good a catch to wait around for my W to come to her senses - and it sounds like you are too Strange!
I know sometimes it's still three steps forward and four back - but I think we're moving towards a much 'healthier and happier' mindset Strange.
