I'm so glad you've found my awful new thread I really need your help.
I nearly did throw up after I'd stopped shaking while reading it. I keep reading it over and over and it makes me feel sick every time. The words she has written make me feel sick, the thought that he's done something with her to make her write it makes me feel sick, the thought he may have been lieing all along makes me feel sick and the fact he did nothing to cease contact after getting the letter makes me feel sick.
He has today gone through a few of the questions he had me write down for him but the answers are far from satisfactory. Just basically he can't really remember just flowered up a little. It all seems to go along the line of feeling sorry for her and not wanting to be cruel when she had obviously had a moment of madness to write such a thing when all they had ever done was talk about their respective R problems.
I am handling it better the past couple of days but right after I read it I did go off on one I'm afraid. Big style - I'd even say I was hysterical although I did calm down after a couple of hours.
I agree on the boundary thing. He wanted to talk about the more kids issue we'd been disagreeing on the day before this bomb dropped and I've told him there is absolutely no point until this letter thing is completely dealt with to MY satisfaction. If and when that happens I told him I was sure we could sort out the other issue somehow.
Quote:
It's still up to H to step up to the mark, he is trying to make you feel guilty all the time - refuse to accept this.
Yes you're right - he always does this. My Mum and I really noticed it during our separation. Whenever I have him banged to rights he tries to make me feel guilty to turn the attention off what he's done and onto something I've done.
He just keeps on looking at me all hurt and says he's so sorry to see me so upset and he wishes none of it had ever happened and he could just wake up tomorrow and it have all gone. He has now gone to work and we've barely spoken about it again today and I won't see him at all tomorrow to talk to as he has a quick turn around shift. He did say before he left though that if he had done anything he would tell me because he can see from my pain and confusion that it would be easier for me to know it and decide how to move on than this not knowing.
I have told him I am so torn and finding it so difficult because he is asking me to believe something I cannot see yet the letter which is stating the opposite of what he is saying is there right in front of me to see. This is so hard and I can feel myself feeling total hate towards this W for writing this if H is telling the truth. As I have said in the above post I just really don't know how I'm going to decide what to believe here.
