Well @12:30 am MY H called me. He called and said... "Hi sweetie you called." like he was sweet as pie he was talking to me !!!!!!!!!!!!GUILT?
And my heart started racing... I played the great Hoolywood actress and did not say a word. IT was hard though and if he thinks he is a good actor well I have him beat. He proceeds to call me sweeite numerous times I lost track and sing to me and talk sweet to me... more GUILT???????????????????

I was naive enough to think last nite that the messages may have been for one of his crew meembers ....
they frequently use his phone. Then she xxxx xxxx my a** call me. If it was not for him why would she say his name? I dunno could be for him and it could be for one of them these "W****ES: are scandoulous. I dunno what to think,, and I had a nitemare that clearly states to my that my subconscious is telling me I am a fool. I am sure I sound nuts but I do think my dreams tell me things. So I am once again a fool.
Last nite he told me he fell asleep and that one I do know is true cause one of the guys who works for him answered and this guy reads the Bible everyday.. he would not lie to me. And he saw I CALLED. Told me he loved me .... THANKS! and then suddenly we are talking and he says in an angry voice sort of "HEY can I let you go? ? I will call you in a little while..."
I had heard people outside and this is at 1:30 am his time so not good at all.

This morning he is neing as sweet as sugar and I still want to choke him.... I did not mention the *W*, but he told me to call him bright and early so I call 4:55 am my time 5:55 am his time and he does not answer.. I called again and just a bit ago @ 8: his yime he is ready to be awake???????????? I did say this,, YOU NEED TO COME HOME! You are not doing wel there and this is enough.. no arguements ...

OOOOOOOOOOH I just want to scream,,, I do not feel to blame this time and the freedom I feel is good. I finally fell asleep at 2 am but could not cry. I dunno where to go from here and I know he will want to be intamite with me and now this will be on my mind............. STD'S????? GOD PLEASE HELP ME. I feel so frustrated and I dunno what to do. I posted in the Infedelity forum and slowly told me maybe he has addiction problem.
I feel like I want to walk away and never look back and yet I still love him. I dunno how he can be so cruel. I feel strong still thank God for that but I do want to know and let him know enough is enough. This is so sad, I am finally crying!
He just called and I stopped crying and the sadness was still in my voice and he said " oh Ill just let you go you sound tired sweetie." PLEASE! And he asked ( SWEETLY AGAIN ) "so you want me to come home?" I got on my soap box..... told him he was not doing wel there and I wasnt trying to boss hom just that I have a bad feeling in my heart and you are not doing well over there and it needs to stop .. you ned to figure it out and yes head home. I amnot ttrying to be bossy and tell you what to do but this is too much and you are doing no good there and that is how I feel and you need to come home. I know you are an adult but you need to know that this is not ok,, you are in a bad place and so on ans so forth and he just sat and listened. I imagine that he was super drunk whenhe spoke to her < no excuse and he regrets it now....... wow must be hard to live with himself. He needs help and I cannot cure him... how very sad this is.
I am a fabulous Woman and I do not need this so he either gets better or this will end. I can feel it in me that I am way toooooooooooooooooo strong and love me to much to deal with this crap anymore. If he cannot find his way out of the gutter and be a MAN... he will have to live alone and very miserable w/o a REAL WOMAN like me by his side. Plain and simple this place and you all and my own blood sweat and tears have brought me to far to go back into the dark!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I refuse! The person who I am to him deserves far better than this!!!!!
GOD BLESS...