What would I like him to do? I guess just show a little more *love* and maybe, yeah I guess, some remorse, but I know that isn't going to happen.
No, he hasn't tried to 'make up' for anything. After the D bomb, I did all the work to get us back on track and he was along for the ride. I guess he was to the point where he felt that that was what he was 'entitled' to.
Anyway, talked to him last night for a long time. He said that he had been thinking about me all night the night before. They had all gone out to the bar and of course the guys are all drinking & chasing a$$. He's like well, I was hooping & hollering w/ the best of them, but when it came to watching the other guys chasing a$$, I was thinking to myself "where's my Kelly" "I really want my Kelly here." The way it was said, I realize that he didn't even HAVE to share that w/ me and he wasn't doing it necessarily to reassure me, he's just not thinking "A" mode anymore.
We finally have something to focus on together. We're looking around for some acreage b/c in the long run, we want a little 'ranch' down here.
I know things are going to be really good for us when he gets back. We'll have to go through some 'stuff' getting aclimated to him being home again and us living separate lives, but I know we'll work through that.
I still just have a lot of emotions & feelings about everything that has happened to get through and it's hard doing it w/ him not around.
I do know that I've always been a very strong personality and will be just fine and will get through this. I also know that, whether I ever 'hear' it from him, if he hasn't already realized it, one day he will appreciate all I've done to save our M and our family.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
