I just read your post to MrsH's thread from the 11th where you talk about how your husbands spewing was just to push your buttons and that if he got to you, he knew you still cared. And when he saw that it no longer got to you, he began to think about you more and more. This is the stage I'm at right now with my WAW. By that I mean our sitch has been very toxic, and then about two weeks ago, I completely took away the reaction buttons I so readily wore on my sleeve (and chest, forehead, pant legs, butt, back and shoulders).
I have always been easy to get a reaction from, and she knows every button to push. What I found was that for the next week after that, she escalated her button pushing to a new level that was extraordinarily painful to me, telling me about OM intimacy, telling me she wished I would die of a heart attack (both my parents died in their fifties from that) and other really vile stuff. It literally ended up last Friday with police involvement (no violence, just her being petty and stupid - silly me for asking her to return the money she took when she cleaned out our bank accounts).
So seven days ago, I went dark on her. She was informed via a business like, emotion-free email that I will contact kids on S10's cell phone only (so as not to have to call the house line) and that any and all communication with her was to be restricted to email, and only regarding kid and business/finance issues. What a difference, but she still is pushing buttons in other ways, including making sure the kids know things that they will tell me, like her always being on the computer (myspace / match.com), always being on the phone talking to a guy or guys, and other things that quite frankly they shouldn't know about. Yesterday, I picked up my kids at 6:00 and was to bring them back at 8:00, but they got in the car and informed me that mommy was going to pick them up at 10:30, so obviously she's going out, almost certainly with some guy (she has not friends to go out with). Well, she ended up picking them up at 12:30 a.m., no phone call at all, and she didn't answer her cell. Tonight was my very first overnight visit with the kids, and of course she's out again. You get the picture.
This is longer than I hoped it would be, but I'm hoping you can add your perspective and offer me some information. It just seems that the description you provide of your husband's actions mirror what I'm dealing with. And by the way, she did file for divorce four days ago. So now I have that to deal with. If you wish, you could even take a look at my thread, but I warn you, it's moves pretty fast! Even in low drama mode.
Anything you can offer would be appreciated. Thanks!! DNQ
Me: 39 WAW: 40 S10, D7, S6 Bomb #1 - 12-24-06: Move out (ILYBNILWY - admitted '05 PA) Move back: 3-2-07 (W: I still want to be married to you) Bomb # 2 - 4-11-07: (W: Can't do this - never loved you) Move out again: 4-29-07 Dark: 6-8-07
