Hummmm.... when your wife spoke about hoping the girls be good women like herself you probably should have said... "Well, you are a role model for them and I'm sure they will probably learn from that and make similar choises." The trick is not to be condesending or negative, but to say this nicely. It will make her think about who she is without being combative toward you. Try to never be mean or condescending because then she only thinks about how much she dislikes you and how much better she is without you, rather than examining herself.

Gosh, this is great she wants to see MIL!!! That's positive. I would encourage that. It's family

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.