Well I think your love language is Quality Time as well. But what's different is how each of you defines Quality Time. For you it's just being together in what ever way possible. For her it may be much more specific and quality time with just the two of you where you are focusing on her. That may be why your validations of her so much the other night worked so well. You had time together and you were focused on her and her needs.
Could be, my dialect might just be TIME together - no qualifiers on the kind of time.
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Now to play devil's advocate too. What if she dressed like that to show you how she's changed, a new woman and moving on?
I suppose, if they were new clothes, if they weren't clothes and jewelry she knows I like (oh, and I bought her that necklace for mother's day a while back). It seems like if she was trying to show me she was moving on, she'd wear something I didn't choose, or something even I wouldn't like. Don't you think? Not that it really matters about the clothes, I just like that she looked so good. And a marriage guru told me, women who are done - don't come to D meetings looking hot - they come looking ragged because they don't care about you anymore. I know my W still cares, or we'd be done. That is a certainty for me.
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Well what ever her reasons I suspect they may have been my devil's advocate reason consciously but subconsciously they were more yours. If you ask me both our wives do want to think they can fall back in love with us, that we can be that man for them again. But the pain of disappointment is still extremely strong.
It's up to us to be those men for ourselves, for our wives, for our children and for God!
That is definitely the case with my W. She even said as much, as I posted. She said it to the pastor too, and he said, "You just can, it'll be hard, but you can do it - get Heavenly Father's help and you can do it..."
That is a good sign to me, I'll throw it in the pile with the few others that I have and save it for later.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
And a marriage guru told me, women who are done - don't come to D meetings looking hot - they come looking ragged because they don't care about you anymore. I know my W still cares, or we'd be done. That is a certainty for me.
