It's been awhile. Things have continued on a very painful course. W is playing more and more games w/ Ss. Last wk after W p/u Ss from GP's house, S8 was very upset about having to go w/ W. He was crying the whole time she was trying to get him into the van. My M told me he was crying the whole time they were driving away. I called S8 about 45min later. I wanted to see how he was doing. W told me I was infringing on her time w/ boys. That Friday night S8 had a baseball game. He & I have been trying to get out to a sporting goods store to p/u him up a new batting helmet. I called W to ask if it were ok to take him before the game. Also wanted to go to batting cages to warm-up on the way to the game. This is something I have always done w/ him. She tells me I can get him the batting helmet on Sunday on my time and she's taking him to the game. I wouldn't be able to do those things b/c its her time w/ the boys. S8 was hurt. He knows he & I go to the batting cages on the way to games. I could tell everything was bothering him again. He's normally so excited about playing baseball. He normally has so much passion to play. Now, he just goes through the motions.
The plans W had for Saturday stayed as is. W ended up taking Ss w/ her. S8 told me it was really boring. He wished he could have stayed w/ me. I wish they could have too. When I got the Ss back Sunday morning we went to a MLB game. The boys and I had a great time. It was only the 2nd or 3rd game we'd gotten to go to this season. Ss looked happy for a while. Afterwards we went to a N's highschool graduation party. S8 loves his cousin, "C18". C18, and his friends, always pays alot of attention to Ss when there around. They all tried to keep S8 busy and cheerful. After awhile I looked out & S8 has walked away from group and is sitting on a patio bench around the corner, crying. When I walked out to see him and told me he just wanted to be alone. This hurts so bad! I can't do anything to help him!. I keep telling him I love and want to help him and that he & S3 are the most important things to me, but it's not what he wants to hear. He wants to hear his M and I are getting back together. I know it's not going to happen. It's so sad. S8 cries at anything now, socks don't match, can't find his favorite shirt, doesn't get a hit, misses a ground ball.
I've been trying to S8 and S3 to call their M every night before bed, even sometimes when we get home @ the end of our day. S8 doesn't want to. I want them to stay in touch w/ W, but I don't want to force them.
S8 had his 1st C appt on Tues. He didn't want to go. He got pretty upset when I took him. I had sent W and e-mail that morning confirming she was picking up S3 from daycare while I was taking S8 to C and to find out if she wanted to have the boys for the next couple of nights. She called me at the end of the day to confirm and said o/c course she would p/u S3 and also wanted to have the boys. Btwn the e-mail and the phone call I found out I had tickets to another baseball game. W called at the end of the day and I told her that S8 & I were thinking about going to the baseball game after C appt, but it was up to S8. We talked a little about not wanting to split the boys up and that we'd have to decide whether it would be ok or maybe wait another day for them to go to her apt. It would depend on what S8 would want to do. I would call her after C appt. to finalize. I called W after C appt. to let her know S8 had decided he wanted to go. W answers w/ "then you need to get a sitter for S3. I've got plans." Needless to say, it got a little heated. W hadn't bothered to tell me she was thinking about doing something. If I had known I wouldn't have said anything to S8 about the game. After a pretty heated exchange I told W I'd make arrangements for S8 to go to game w/ GPs and I'd come back to get S3. About half way home S8 is saying he doesn't understand why W is not wanting spend time w/ S3 and he doesn't know why M won't let us go to the game. After seeing the look on S8 and hearing his voice, I called W up told she was going to have watch S3. She'd said she wanted them 2 hrs before and she just wasn't going to back on @ the last minute. That if she had plans she should have said something when we first discussed it. I wasn't going to tell S8 that we couldn't go to the game b/c she'd changed her mind in 2 hrs. W starts telling me "this is not going always be for my convenience" I had to remind her it has nothing to do w/ me or her, it's about the Ss. W tells me she going just have to S3 know that D doesn't want to pick him up now. I told her, "No, I'll just pick him up after the game." S8 had another great time. He was smiling and laughing and cheering. It was nice to see him get excited and smile again. After the game S8 drove to W's appt and p'd/u S3. The first thing he asks me is, "why wouldn't you come pick me up for the game." I told him that I've got all of our tickets for Thursday and that S3, S8 and I can go. He got all excited and got a big smile on his face. He likes to be like his big bro. He starting to get into sports too.
This is real nice. W trying to convince S3 that I don't want him. First she tell Ss that I'm not going to let her see them. Now she's telling them I don't want them. It's becoming harder & harder to stay civil around her.
Wednesday, W and I talk and I ask her if she would like to have the boys stay @ her apt for a couple of days. I reminded her about me offering to take the boys to the game on Thursday and responds that that won't work now b/c it would be interfering w/ her time. I mentioned that I wasn't planning on keeping the for the night, but since I'd already offered, it be nice if she'd let them go for a couple of hrs. W is always concerned about her, her time, her plans. This is the next 45 mins of conv. go. I told her maybe she should try work on getting S8 to not resent her. That if she keeps forcing him to do everything she now wants instead of things he's always been doing and that he thoroughly enjoyed it's only going to make him resent her more. Maybe she should let him have some input on certain things in his life since the rest of it has pretty well been decided for him, and not to pleasant of a plan. The whole conversation W sounded like she'd been trampled. When I asked her what was wrong she said she'd not been sleeping b/c of too much stress and she hadn't been feeling good. WTH! She puts everyone through emotional hell, destroys the family and now wants sympathy b/c she doesn't feel good and is under too much stress. Hhaahh!! Now that's a laugh. W tells me she'll offer to Ss Thursday on the way home, about the game. Meanwhile, W takes day off and goes out buys a new LCD TV and when she picks Ss up offers to let them go buy movies and watch that night on the new TV. Three months ago, W would have never agreed to let Ss watch a movie in the middle of the week. W only wanted them watching them on w/e. Ss decide to skip ball game and stay @ home w/ W to watch movies. I was really looking forward to taking them to the game, but that's not what really matters. If that's what made them happy, that what I need to think about.
Just got some correspondence from L. My counter petition and answer are drafted. She wants me to look them over to make sure I agree w/ everything. We'll be going over the parenting plan soon.
Sometimes I really wish I could keep Ss away from W. She has hurt them so much. But I don't want them to have to pay any more for her selfishness than they already have. They're already hurting. Other times I want them to spend as much time as they can w/ her. I don't want them growing up resenting her. I just don't want to push them into something that they'll later resent me for either.
I'm picking Ss up this evening. I've got them for the w/e. Looking forward to spending it w/ them. S8 has a baseball game Sunday. I can't think of a nicer Father's day gift than to watch one of my Ss play baseball.
