What % of our WAS have someone else?

[ShesGreat]

At this point (4 months separation, 1 year of having real M problems) Hubby firmly insists "No". I still have my doubts, but that is ingrained into my personality.

I suspect EA at least, if not a PA, with 25 year old personal trainer.

HOWEVER, I assume you ask this question to us all because you are "FISHING". I'll tell you from experience, BACK OFF from this question eating you alive! Take it from me it can ruin everything.

Sit down and soul-search. Figure out what it means to you. Will you still love them and want them if there was an affair? Make up you mind right now and move forward. The details do not matter.

My husband left and I went crazy, it "reaffirmed" all my fears and I went nuts during our separation (I have known about the personal trainer for 9 months prior). I got totally out of control when I should have been focusing on the marriage. I made a mess of things and showed my husband the worst side of me. Especially since there was no affair! My behavior drove him away even further.

Don't worry about the odds. Worry about what it means to you and WALK FORWARD. Plenty of people survived affairs (even imaginary ones) and went on to have better marriages.

I was just asking to see out of curiosity, at this point I enjoy taking care of me, GAL and detaching has helped. And if there is/was another person, that’s on her, she has to deal with what she has done sooner or later.

If there was an affair and I knew about it, I would not take W back. Too many people think that they can go and look for the bigger better deal, greener grass, or whatever you want to call it. Is the LBS suppose to be waiting with open arms if it doesn’t work out? With our instant gratification society, be happy and do what you want attitude, doing the right thing is not what goes through most people’s minds these days. “I want to be happy” most choose momentary happiness over the commitment that was made to the other person. But only a few people do the right thing and the right thing is to honor the commitment and the vows that we've made! We all go through temptations everyday and that's part of life, but how we react to those temptations is the test.

Marriage vows should be changed to: “until unhappiness do us part”.