Character, Faith and Patience III

[catfan]

Well, the twists and turns are there for us to learn something from.

My thing is patience. It just is. I'm slowly but surely getting out of the mindset that I HAVE to have everything NOW. That's the way I was, I never waited for anything even if it meant putting it on my credit card when I didn't have enough money to afford it - just retarded! I have a degree in finance for heaven's sake and I was doing everything wrong in that regard and it was getting really bad, especially when I didn't have the money anymore to back up the spending.

I was also never patient with my W's need to have conversation. I would tune her out so fast because I wanted her to get to the point, that's not how it works (as I'm painfully aware now.) Over the last 2 meetings, I listen, I wait for her to finish, I understand, I empathize, and that takes patience. I think that's partly why I get so wiped out after these meetings is I'm having to use "muscles" I haven't used in a long time or maybe never used.

I have to be patient with my son. He is only 4 I can't expect him to act like an adult. Now that I get to see him so little, I can really SEE and understand what he needs. He needs to see his dad treat his mom right. He needs to hear the calm voices, and not yelling and arguing (the result of impatience on my part). He needs the strong example of how a man is supposed to act, not how a co-dependent, impatient baby acts. It's been truly eye-opening.

So, do you think I would have learned those lessons had I not been thrown into this mess? Do you think I'd learn anything if it was already over and I was back in my house? Of course not. I would be the same as I was. My W said the other night, "I can't go back to what it was!" I said, "I can't either, I won't, we don't have to. We'll move forward together with the lessons we have learned in hand and make our relationship SPECTACULAR with God's help in all things."

She knows we're both learning valuable lessons and they'll help us forge a new life together.

It's going to take time so the MY lessons are well learned and deeply engrained in my core.

This is just about me too. Unfortunately I have to admit I haven't learned my lesson as well over the last 8 months. But i am determined to learn these lessons going forward!