Just so I understand, did you say your w sent YOU the quote about strong women role models and was hoping that they'd find HER to be a positive influence IN the HOME??!!
Yep, that was a direct cut and past from an email that my W sent this morning. She was with our girls for the first time in a couple of days. Having them puts her in a better mood and this sitch I believe has made her evaluate her relationsip with them. I believe that she is still so wrapped up in the OM that her comments and actions are hypocritical.
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See, I think the WAS with kids, especially with OP involved, just wants to take the present family photo and replace one person in it (LBSer of course) with the new, perfected spouse, ie, the OP....only life isn't that way.
This is so true. This has been hard for me to deal with and is the main reason that I feel like yesterday's trash(easily discarded). The OM probably see it this way also. He has two girls the same ages as mine and probably sees himself just fitting in nicely. Man does he have another thing coming when he has to start dealing with crazy mood swings of my 5D and W. Not only is 5D going to hate him, she is going to make his life hell. I am her Daddy and at times I just cannot deal with her and have to give her a long time out so she can cool off. And she loves me to pieces.
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I have a feeling that if you play your cards right (a phrase that I hate) your wife could come around. She's strong in her ways so you can't smash this into her face or overwhelm her with judgement or rationalized discussions either. When she gets some space and time to reflect, she has her moments. Indeed, you already see cracks in the fantasy...so, she MISSES not seeing the girls every day....really????? And You won't agree to just disappearing until if and when she needs you to watch them? That is inconvenient....(you're so selfish)...
I try to avoid any conversation that would cause me to pass judgement or rationalize with my W anymore. I worry though being in C'ing that I might get to comfortable start doing what I do not want to do and that is like you said pass judgement on my W. I think my getting a L really put a huge crack into my W fantasy world. I believe she thought I would just make everything really easy on her as she exits stage left. LOL...Damn I am a selfish son of a gun for wanting to keep my family intact.
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As for the L issues, let them handle it. ALL the ugly practical things are THEIR problem and that's what the bucks are for. YOU just care about GAL and being a great dad and a calm source of "co-parenting' support....she can only press so hard before her hypocrisy hits her in the face b/c she is not stupid.
Your absolutely right the L are paid for a reason, let them battle this out. Having a L has lifted some weight off of my shoulders, I know that I have someone looking out for me in a legal sense. Right again...My W is not stupid. Her intelligence is one of the traits that I am attracted to in her.
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It'a bit ironic that your wife thought you two were going "to do what's best for the girls...." um, like getting the tools for problems HER own mc mentioned? Oh, no, like getting divorced with as little hassle to your wife as possible, THAT"S what she means...
Ironic is right... My W is only looking out for what makes this all easier on her at this time. She does keep mentioning that she is doing what she is for the best interests of our girls. That is a load of cr@p. She is only looking for the easy way out.
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.um, I don't think so. Put a stop sign on those nightmarish delusions and besides, they're out of your control anyhow.
I was doing good with this accept going to the L and talking to the OMW the otherday made those thoughts flood back in.
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I just wish I could beam you into a year or two into the future to cut out all this pain for you.
No?? I thought you had some mystical powers that would allow for this.
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Your time/trips with them are SO perfect for this situation. I do love it. If my women friends were in my kitchen with me now, we would all be saying the same thing about how we'd see the fathers differently as men, if we saw these types of interactions. Keep it up.
Thanks for the pat on the back. I plan on keeping this up. My girls and I are having a wonderful time doing all these activities. It also allows for a lot of down time to just enjoy and connect with them.
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OMG, I LOVE your wife's c and cannot think of how YOU could have better selected her....I know you didn't, but dang, there was a little divine intervention stuff and some seed planting in those words to your wife....interesting..
I do believe that my W counselor is good. I believe that she was trying to plants seeds also. But you know the parable of sowing seeds, who knows what kind of soil they are ending up in? Rightnow with the OM in the picture I believe that they are being sown in gravel with not much chance to grow. This is why I am hoping that the counseling continues for the two of us...eventually they have to be sown in fertile soil...Don't they? Also, her counselor was a recommendation from her sisters. They both saw her for sometime.
