My heart sunk deeply when I came upon this new thread today and read what has been happening.
I can't imagine how hard it must be to experiece this so soon after your W had given you reasons for hopeful improvements. Your strength and resolve in response to the latest episodes are very admirable, and you continue to inspire me.
The psychic DJs are at it again on my radio stations. When I awoke to the radio the day before yesterday, the "Words For The Wise" intellectual vocabulary feature spotlighted the word: "Rollercoaster" and the commentator included the reference to situations of strong emotional shifts. The very next song they played was a song I had never heard before by The Byrds:
Everybody's Been Burned
Everybody's been burned before Everybody knows the pain Anyone in this place Can tell you to your face Why you shouldn't try to love someone
Everybody knows it never works Everybody knows and me I know that door that shuts Just before you get to the dream You see...
I know all too well How to turn, how to run How to hide behind A bitter wall of blue But you die inside If you choose to hide So I guess instead, I'll love you
Like Chrome said above, I don't prescribe these lyrics to your sitch, but I can say that when I see my W, I do not recognize the person she is now, and there is certainly a blinding fog that has set in over and around her. As I detach a little more each week, I find myself in a more clear atmosphere, where it is easier to breathe, and I am glad that we are separated for now, for I need the peace I can create for myself.
I pray that you will continue to find all the strength and emotional fortitude for yourself, your children and for facing the challenges in the days ahead.
All the best,
LG
Me 46 WAW 45 M 21 yrs
WAW: "I need to be alone" 12/06 W moves out 3/07 Mediation finalized 08/08
