See I"m thinking we should WANT to do things for each other....but it ends up being taken advantage of.
Well, that's what we all THINK, but look where we are. If you're a believer in the LL idea, if you're talking the wrong LL, it doesn't matter how much you do, your S could feel unloved and unappreciated. That's why my W left.
There does have to be give and take, but if you hit the right LL, your S will feel loved and that will start to be reciprocated. That is different from being codependent in that you don't NEED your S to be happy, you want to be happy with them and healthy love and attention and attraction comes from showing your S they are loved, in the right way and you being happy when they're happy. They WILL start giving you love, but you don't NEED it to be happy - you want it because it's valuable to you.
It also helps that you don't become predictable. For instance, my W knew I was going to tell her she looked hot every day. It got old, it got to where it didn't mean anything, it got predictable - even though I ALWAYS MEANT IT! So, I have to picj and choose my compliments so they're meaningful. That's not her LL but every woman likes to know she looks good, just not ALL THE TIME!
Anyway...
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
