Thanks ST for all the positive and support comments at the end of the last thread!
Wife called a little bit ago, asked "have you checked that stuff out?" I didn't know what she was talking about so I said "what stuff?" wasn't sure if I'd missed something earlier or whatnot. She said "didn't you get my email?" and I told her no. She said she wanted to change her next flight to July 2-6th instead of the current 12-16th. Doesn't sound like she'll be driving with us on the 1st after all, but she has the option if she doesn't have to work that day. We talked a little about S13 being mad at S15 and a txt msg S13 sent her last night. I told her I talked to him later in the evening and it sounded like they were getting along ok. My wife also started talking about S23's school schedule and how her 18 units were mostly online, sounds like they're talking again, that is a great sign. She also talked about how her 2 yrs of nursing school will fly by and D23 will never "want for a job." My wife has the goal of all the kids being nurses (ok, she wants me to be a nurse too) and having a photo of all of them together with her in their nursing outfits or something. It is her dream that she is trying to push on them, I know she means well and wants them to have a stable well paying career, but I think she is starting to push them less and hopefully will support the kid's dreams and desires instead.
Anyhow another sweeting sounding voice talking to me, me being the same, still tell her I love her after I hang up, someday it'll be while she can still hear it...
Seems like a long day. Missed FLF (Free Lunch Friday) with my co-workers because I had to drive 45 mins away to meet with some people about a contract that I'm trying to save. $250k into a project that is about to fall apart, my boss doesn't want to lose the money and I can't blame him. Had a 2hr conversation with them, started off with them having the attitude of "no way" and by the end "we'll think about it." We'll see if it was a noble effort or a waste of time or a productive meeting. I felt good about it, I know I'm doing everything I can to make it work, doesn't fix the $250k issue, but I'm not sure I have anyway to do that at this point.
Went straight from that meeting to IC session, still feeling good, burden free, going strong, not lonely, not desperate, not sad, not depressed, not worried. IC wants me to bring my mother in once or twice. My mom paid for her own flight today to come visit week after next, then she is driving back with me when I pick up the kids at the end of the month since she lives where they're at right now with their mom. Big contrast to my dad who can't seem to even call me anymore. I never got to any stores today with my running around, so no Father's Day present for my dad yet. Kind of hard to get it to him on Sunday now. Might still do something, not too motivated. My kids went to visit him for a bit today, I told them to maybe spend some time on Father's Day with him since none of his kids will be around and since they're not here with me.
Wife called this evening, talked a bit about the kids and them wanting to go to the online computer game place for an all-night event tonight, then she wants them to come to her apartment so they can sleep all day while she is at work. After work tomorrow she mentioned twice about "getting her hair done." I could have asked "whatcha getting done" but didn't, thought about showing some interest, but too much likelihood of it being negative I think, not sure tho'. She asked about my day, "did you sell anything today" so I told her about my 2 hr meeting and also told her that I found out today that now I'm going to Vegas next week to meet with my boss (her brother) and 3 others to brainstorm about the business and meet with some lenders. She said that should be fun, I was tired and didn't have as much PMA and ethusaism that I should have had, not much I care about in Vegas, except Supercross and that was last month and I missed it for the 1st time in 4 or so years. Should be good to get out of town, just adds the stress of finding someone responsible enough to care for 5 dogs, 2 cats and a parrot while I'm gone from Wed-Sat.
Tired today for some reason, might have stayed up too late and gotten woken up too early by my wife's morning call. Haven't used a sleeping pill in 3-4 days and have actually been dreaming more and sleeping longer as a result. Nice to not have to depend on the pills to sleep anymore, but it was nice to be able to decide to go to sleep at 9pm and pop a pill and go to sleep instead of having to stay up until I'm exhausted so I can get to sleep.
PMA - Good GAL - Good Detached - Check Feel Loved - Check
I was reading your previous thread and it looks like things are moving well for you. Your W is expressing an interest in you and is willing to help pay the bills. That is great that you are talking on the phone about your days and kids. Keep this up and she'll feel comfortable to move beyond this once she feels safe. I have been having dreams too lately involving my W. They were great dreams. I woke up and had a great day! Patience is the key to your marriage!
Glad to hear you were not let down about her possible early leave, or not riding with you guys. You are doing so well.
That is great to hear you not having to use the sleeping pills. I'm sure that has to do with your anxiety level/stress about the R, and now your focusing on what you really need to and it's showing all over.
Don't worry about having a "not-so-good" day today. We definitely will have those at times. As long as you can bounce back and not dwell on them, it's all okay.
have a wonderful weekend!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Pretty quiet day here, slept in until 11am after going to bed at 1am! Haven't slept so much in 6 months! Had to deal with the bank today for work stuff, then went to a movie and played pool. Headed to church at 6pm, then dinner and home for a walk with my beagle baby.
Talked to S13 a couple times today, him and S15 stayed up all night at the online computer game place last night. Told them to head over to my dad's house tomorrow to visit him for Father's Day, might have them buy a card from me to give him too. Called my older sister and talked to her at dinner, talked alot about spiritual stuff and some about my dad, she didn't send him anything for Father's Day either...
No contact from my wife today, neither any phone calls or txt msgs, first time for that in a long time, dunno if she is testing to see if I'll contact her, kind of a change from her calling a couple times a day since she left. S13 said something about her wanting him to go bowling with her, then her not wanting him to go or something. Brought up some thoughts of the possible OM who is supposed to bowl good and who she'd made plans in the past to bowl with, but I didn't dwell on it and doesn't really matter, nothing I can do about whatever the heck she is doing, so why think about it or waste my life worrying.
Finished reading "Is God in Your Marriage" it is a great book, just need a spouse that would read it and if we both tried to live by what it says we'd have a better marriage than either of us could imagine. It'll be a great experience when we get to that point...
Time to read some more, then go to bed. Church tomorrow, then maybe a baseball game in the late afternoon. Still need to book my Vegas flights too, gonna miss a couple things I want to go to while I'm gone to Vegas, that kinda sucks, but oh well, have to make the best of it.
yes, happy fathers day! and you have a wonderful attitude about W's life. we can only rely on God.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Thanks HS for the vote of confidence, same to you too ST!
Wife sent me a txt msg late Sat night with "nite" and I replied with "Goodnight, hope you had a great day" that was all the communication with her on Sat.
S15 called me this morning while I was at church, when I didn't answer he sent me a txt msg saying Happy Father's Day and to call him. I called him after church, then took myself to lunch and started reading "Point Man" by Steve Farrar which was given out at church to all fathers. Good book from what I've read thus far. D23 called me to say Happy Father's Day, talked to her quite a bit about her school and what has been going on with S15 and S13 while they're down there where she lives. I called my dad and talked to him a bit, found out that S15 and S13 where over visiting him, so that was nice. I'd ask them to go and to take a card to him for me. I watched the motocross race live on TV and saw Ricky Carmichael (the greatest of all time or GOAT of motocross) win his 100th motocross race, it was great. Wish S15 and S13 would have been here to watch the race, S15 really likes Ricky and they've both met him a few times in person and have picture with him and autographes, etc. S13 sent me txt msgs saying Happy Father's Day and asking what I'd done today.
Wife just sent me a txt msg of "Happy Dad Day" the first communication today. I replied with "Thanks" and she sent back "What did u do" so I send "Church then lunch now reading then going to baseball game. How about you, whatcha do all weekend?" and she sent back "work, shop and nap. boys went to your dad's house"
I'm off to the baseball game, have to figure out how to get there first.
Nice HS! I usually go to quite a few races each year, but with my problems at home I've had to cut way back on the races. I was racing myself until I crashed myself into the hospital for 6 days and my wife said "no more racing or I'll divorce you" so I haven't raced since, I held up my end of the bargin and gave up something I loved, guess that wasn't enough, never seems like anything is enough... Sucks that Ricky is done racing, he is a great guy and a fantastic racer.
My wife called me right after my previous post, guess txt msging wasn't enough for her. First thing she asked was "whatcha doing" and I told her "about to leave for the baseball game" and she asked me "who you going with..." and I told her "no one" she said "no one to go with" and I told her "nope, going by myself." We talked a bit, not too long, I wasn't really into talking to her for some reason, even tho' I hadn't talked to her in 2 days. I could have asked a bunch about her life, but didn't really ask, she said she was out taking something back at the store. I told her thanks for calling and to have a good day.
Headed to the baseball game, got a front row box seat by the home team dugout where the on-deck batter warms up. Sent my kids and wife a photo from my cellphone of the view from the front row. Ended up txt msging back and forth with my wife, she asked the score a couple times. I stopped at Dairy Queen after the game and sent a pic of the menu to S13 and my wife asking what they wanted from DQ. Wife answered with "all of it." I sent a pic of my dipped cone to my wife and she said she could eat 3 of them. I sent her a pic with it half gone and she said "what are you doing, inhaling it?" and I sent her back a pic of just the cone left, then a pic of my empty hand and "inhaling completed" She then asked how the weather was and I sent her a pic of the sunset and that is was beautiful and 69 degrees (it really was 69 guys, ok).
Wife sent a txt msg asking if I'd talked to the boys, I said ya I had talked to them today. Then she told me have a good nite and I told her I was going to read pray and sleep and she told me "sleep tight" It seemed like a nice interaction all night, she likes baseball so I used that a bit to initiate some conversation tonight, plus she likes DQ so I used that too.
Carmichael's last full year was last year. This year he raced part time, 6 Supercross races and now 6 outdoor motocross races. He has a 3 year deal to race Nascar plus he just had his first kids, twins. I think he is very grateful to go out of the sport on top, with his health and with a new career already in progress. Just sucks to see him riding as fast as ever and as strong as ever and then just walk away. He also mentioned how much he has to sacrifice in order to win and he can't keep doing that and he doesn't want to diminish his accomplishments by racing at anything less than 100% preparation. I think he is 26 yrs old, retiring with 10's of millions to go race cars... He has worked hard all his life, since like 4 yrs old and his family worked just as hard to get him there. He deserves the success, unfortunately a bunch of other kids and families worked and sacrificed a lot too and end up with nothing to show for it.
I've given up most everything relating to motocross, it made me very happy, but was consuming too much of my life and my family is much more important.
