I wanted it to be MLC because it gave me hope that he would eventually come out of it. What I didn't know (and have since found out from his sister) was that H was basically this way all his life. We were married for 20 years, and I either didn't know him .. or he truly had a split personality.
The man I "knew" (and the kids knew) was a kind, laid-back funny guy that would do anything in the world for his family. He was generous, dependable, romantic, basically all the things that everyone looks for in a spouse.
I always wondered why he had so many jobs over the course of our marriage. He usually said it was because another company made a better offer, or he would have some convincing excuse as to why he "quit". I now know that he was fired from most of these jobs for dishonest conduct. No one ever told me and I never questioned it, because H would always have another job lined up before the dust settled.
H happens to work in a very well-paying field and he was good at his job. When some "investors" approached him two years ago about starting up his own company, the money they offered him was enticing enough to finally let the "mask" drop . His true personality came out. He resumed drinking, smoking, started an affair with a 23 year old girl, and basically turned his back on me, our marriage, and our family. It pretty much met the criteria for MLC, so that's what I thought it was.
The "investors" fired H last year for .. you guessed it .. dishonest and unethical conduct. Except H finagled a generous buy-out from them from the contract he had drawn up. Those were the funds and assets that he hid from me.
I had a gut feeling all those years about H, but I didn't want to face it. He was so darned convincing. It's still hard to believe that he could put up a respectable front for 20 years, but my SIL swears that is exactly what he did.
Maybe a little part of him actually loved me. I do think he loved the kids, as much as he was capable.
But I would be hard pressed to find a colder, crueler person than H right now, so you are absolutely right, PS .. he needs tons of help and I fear for him, too.
