Looking backward but only to look forward SIX

[sage]

Oldtimer -- you have such great advice. Thanks for taking the time to come by.

My plan for next week is to get the house in order -- we'll see how I do. None of us are particularly "clutter free" though we tend to see our own clutter as ok and judge that of the other. I really just plain and simple want to get into the habit of tidying up every day...I know the "flybaby" system but I've been terrible about implementing it. I've told myself that it's because h viewed it as time away from him (he won't do it with me at this point...I've asked and he says "yes" and then won't) but I think the messiness of the house has risen higher in irritation level than the lack of time together for him right now so I'll realign my efforts to meet that.

The other thing I need to do is stop reacting to him. I mentioned that I need to shut up -- and that's true -- but I have to stop reacting to his mutterings...I need to keep my mouth closed and my "as if" attitude high. To some that probably sounds invalidating but I've noticed that if I don't react to every little irritation that he has he still has a chance to blow off steam without having everything become a big issue. The key, though, is that I can't react negatively.

Sigh. This reminds me of living with my father...and that's not a good thing.

I'm not going to even try to tackle the "time together" right now...I'm going to focus on organizing the house and creating more quiet and less reaction.

Sage