Sorry about missing the not in the statement I wrote about wanting D as much as W does...I missed that, Nomo, thanks!
I do not, nor speculate that your W is a MLCer..or Mid Life Crisis..but something interesting that I have read on those boards is that the negatives is all that the WAW/WAH have to hinge upon when it comes to you. You have to let them slide off your back as Nomo said in order for her to have no reason to distance herself from you.
Eventually, they run out of negative leverage to put upon you, and start to look within themselves to see their part in this. If you, Strange, can show her the positive things about you and slide the negatives away, she will have no choice really but to look at you, not as a threat or the problem, but as someone who thinks she is better than how she feels right now, (and trust me....she probably feels real sh!tty about this) then you wont see the negatives barreling down on you, but on her as much as before.
Walk-aways, in general, seem to blame us, the LBS, since we have generally been the closest persons to them for a long time. So, in their minds, they justify blaming us for their problems and issues even if they were around before us. They assume, "Well, I have known them for most of my adult life, so I have permission to blame them and vent to them for how I feel!"
The hard part, Strange, and Nomo and chime in if Im overanalyzing...Im good at that..is that when something bad happens in a R or M, depending on severity, the WAS then feels that they need to see the entire M or R in a negative light.
Try asking a WAS shortly after a separation anything you can say positive about the LBS..they probably couldnt find many! They are flooded with negativity and need to process that before they can look at you with a good light.
Again, hope I didnt ramble on too much...Good Luck!
