RonJon- Congrats on your decision to take Chief! I know it's a whole new world. Not like E-4 to E-5 or anything. I know it would make a big impact on H's professional life and self-esteem. He's been in for 17 years, he would make a good Chief. But he's in a slow moving rate.
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...then two weeks in CO to visit D19 and test the waters w/xw, thinking of just going for it,
I guess I don't see that you have anything to lose. If you still feel like there might be a chance and you want that chance, then take it. In my mind, the worst that could happen is that she gives you mixed signals. For example, she accepts your advances, then later rejects them, then maybe some more back and forth. Then you leave, none the wiser to her intentions/desires for a future. I guess you won't be any worse off. But don't forget to check out the ladies in NJ!
As far as me being too available or desperate...I frequently feel like I am putting our whole situation in H's hands and taking no control. I don't feel like I'm that way with him in person, but when it comes to waiting for this M to work out in the long run, I sure feel like that a lot. Not sure what to do about that.
I know I have choices. If H will not agree to us living with him, I know that I am going to ask that H continue to send the same financial support until I get a better paying job and the house sells and put it in writing for a divorce mediator/lawyer. That's so that I can emotionally move on from the M without the fear of being on the streets or back in my mother's house. But I still don't feel very "empowered" by the situation. I don't like feeling like I'm begging my H to put up with living with me. I'm not a horrible freak, for god's sake. It's not exactly candy for the self-esteem.
