Sorry to hear about what you are going through. Nothing can be sadder than being gravely unappreciated by the person you consider to be the love of your life...and the only one.
Just hang in there...a lot of people on this forum are here to provide support. Try not to beat yourself up about it so much.
Lots of luck to you.
THAT is exactly how I felt/feel..........but can't seem to get that point acrossed to H.....
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...