Sorry for the long silence. I was consumed by work and travel. The plan is currently to enjoy the summer and then talk once the kids are back at school.
Here is a text I wrote, which I will present verbally and with other words when the time comes:
Dear -,
We need to make a decision whether to continue or end this relationship. Here are the reasons for each alternative as I see them.
End because;
No emotional support, no love, no touch since 3.5 years, separate vacations, no sleeping together, no good communication, all setting a poor example for the children.
End because:
Affair in Germany, possibly ongoing, and possible affair(s) in Sweden, causing a loss of trust. Secret phone calls, SMS set to silent, disappearances around dinnertime. You say that you approve of affairs, which I do not.
End because:
No financial sharing – you said that you would receive three times your bid from - for the - job, but only ever deposited 8 TSKr into our joint accout. That cannot possibly be the total sum. My paycheck flows into our account.
Do not end because:
We have children and a nice house.
I don’t want to live with and pay for a woman who doesn’t clearly and openly love me; that would not make sense. For that reason, I think it makes sense to divorce, as you have stated many times. The only alternative I see is that you
O end your affair(s) and come clean on them O have an exam to check you have no STD O start working on us, together or without me, whichever you prefer O reaffirm in some public way your commitment to this relationship.
Please let me know your decision.
Luke
* * *
I have two job offers coming in a bit. Both are out of the country, which would add a twist to this whole business. Maybe with the kids old enough (they'll be 10 and 14) a D may not have so many bad effects and maybe being in a new country will give extra (good) distance to any ending.
My two cents -
Luke
ps. A beautiful day again, the Finland white roses blooming, lively waves on the lake, tons of sunshine.
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
