Hopeful Happiness

[princess_nic]

HM

Thanks - it took two years, lol! I hope you'll get there faster!

[faithisbelieving]

The other day, I began to suspect that he is cheating on his gf. I won't get into why b/c it would take too long and, in any case, it's just speculation.

A-OOOO-GAH.

Stay where you are nic.....doin' great. Do what Jeff said...stand back, relax and observe the goings on of a person in MLC.

Hugs.

FIB

[mermaid]

Nicola,

Good for you. I could have almost written your post but it has taken me longer to get there.

[MnSPD]

Bravo Nic, Bravo!!!

I could see it coming

Steve

[Keepingthefaith7]

nicola,

You sound really good. I feel like I am starting to get to where you are. I do feel stronger everyday. I realize I do not need or want my H in my life the way he is now.

However, I do miss "the old him" and my "old" life with him. I still feel so much pain and anger when I think of his R with Ow. I can't believe that he is building a new life with someone else. When I see him it is so strange b/c it is as if I am talking with a complete stranger b/c I don't even know anything about him anymore.

I am going to talk to my Pastor tomorrow morning about forgiveness and getting past my anger. I hope he can help me .
I have never been a very religious person, but since my H and I have S , I have been feeling like I need God in my life.

Hugs,
K

[lovingme]

I admire you Nicola! You are such an awesome woman and I have been blessed to have found you on here more then a year ago. I feel like I am in the same place as you on a lot of things. I am moving past the jealousy of ow, I feel no need to date at all. I am so busy with the boys and my life I don't need a man. I am feeling pretty good.

Have a great weekend sweetie you are awesome!

[I_Still_Love_Him]

Nicola,

You do sound good and seeing the smile on your face in the pics from the Grand Prix, I can tell that you are feeling good about yourself too.

This has been a difficult journey and look how far you have come. You are a strong and awesome woman and mother. Take all the time you need to spoil yourself. You deserve it. When you are really ready for another R, you will know it.

H cheating on gf? Why doesn't that surprise me? He is spiraling. I think this is proof that it isn't about you. He will cheat on any woman because he doesn't understand commitment. I recall you saying that he was committed to her. When was that? Oh yea, about 3 weeks ago?

His actions are NOT your responsibility. I know you feel bad about H's gf getting hurt but she got herself into that sitch.

Much love to you too,
ISLH

[ACJ]

Nic so glad to hear you sounding so positive. Yes you do need to stop trying to take responsibility for Hs actions. You will get there but like everything else it will take time.

[neli]

Nicola.. I just needed to come here and see how you are doing. I love your posts. I always learn so much from them. Interesting that you mention your H might be cheating on his new gf. I was wondering this past week whether a cheating spouse can ever stop cheating. I believe they can if they take serious look at who they are and what causes it, rather then blaming the other person on why they are cheating. Anyways, it will be interesting to see what comes out of that.

[quote]I like making decisions w/o consulting anyone else.[\quote]

I agree with you completely here. I hired an artist to do a huge wall mural on my d's wall. It is wonderful. My sons room is getting done in two weeks. Life is good.

Glad to see you are happy and content.

Neli

[princess_nic]

It's so nice to have such wonderful support from all of you!!
Thank you so much!

I'm not doing so well today. A couple of not-so-good things have happened. But I also didn't sleep well last night, which never helps matters.

First, the appraiser dropped off the house evaluation yesterday, and it's $60,000 higher than the highest I thought it would be. I looked through the report, though, and it seems very fair. I just was unaware that prices had skyrocketed AGAIN in my area. It is now worth 3x what we paid for it in 1998. I told H and he was as surprised as I was. Then he complained about the appraisal fee (we are each paying half) b/c he charged $250 more than another one he recommended. I just got off the phone before I blew up at him. Hello!!! The appraiser just handed him $200,000 and he bitching about $250??!!

I was so stressed out over this bad news that I went over to my parents house. We had a nice dinner, and my dad told me not to worry about it. Thank God for them.

Secondly, H had some big work thing on, apprently, Sat night, so kids were with me. He couldn't take them Friday instead b/c he had another work thing on. D10 was VERY upset b/c she wanted to spend more time w/ him, since last w/e, they only saw him for a few hours. Then, D10 got invited to a b'day party next door, so H was going to pick S5 up at 10 and then D10 at 2. Well, he didn't show till 3:30. She was almost crying at the party b/c it was Father's Day and she wanted to see her daddy. What a jerk! His phone was dead, and he didn't call till 3. Oh where was he? At a movie with his g/f and the two boys (my S and her S). D told me that she told him she was upset, so I'm glad about that.

Third, his phone is dead and he doesn't have a landline. S is sick today (more later), so he told me to call on her cell b/c he took the day off and is spending it w/ her. This makes me want to throw up b/c he NEVER, EVER took a day off work to spend with me. NEVER. F*ck! Why couldn't he have spent some QT with me? That's his LL, but he sure as hell never made any effort there.

Lastly, and worst (believe it or not), H dropped the kids off much earlier than usual this am, around 7:30. S5 was having trouble breathing, sounds like croup. He had is as a small baby. Apparently, he actually couldn't breathe (acute asthma? He doesn't have chronic asthma, but he has a cold.) this am for a bit. This happened to me once when I had bronchitis. It is terrifying! Luckily, my doc had given me a puffer "just in case." H took S5 into the bathroom and ran the shower, and he got a bit better, but was crying for me. So H brought him home. He's breathing normally now, but I'm going to the doc in a few mintues.

When H brought him home, he told me what had happened. I cuddled S and he was okay. But I'm SO, SO upset at the thought that, had he died, I WOULD NOT HAVE SPENT HIS LAST MOMENTS WITH HIM. Instead, he would have been with H and his stupid gf. OMG - I had never even thought of this. If anything ever happened to my kids when they were with him, I woudn't be there. All b/c of their selfish A$$HOLE father.

Ok - off to the ped.