There's a lot of good advice here.... especially Andy. He seems to be similarly situated and has a good outlook. One thing to definitely keep in mind is not say ANYTHING about your lawyer or what is being done. Do not give out any information whatsoever!!!! Not just for DBing, but for your own legal position. Gosh!!!! My lawyer would have pounded me if I told my husband anything! He was a frightening guy. I didn't even tell my husband my lawyer's name. I just nicely told him that "everything was being taken care of." Although he did know I had a great lawyer.... I'm related to a judge so that was inevitable...
If she says anything about lawyers smile and say you just want everything quickly and correctly taken care of (always try to make it sound like you're doing her a favor!!!! It's to HELP HER!!! Hee hee!)... even if you're planning to drag it out.... and your lawyer is a bulldog...
So... any questions. Don't give her details, just say things like... The lawyers will take care of that... don't worry it will be over soon, smile... I just want you to be happy... although my first choise would be to have my family together, I care about you and want your happiness.... life is great! (boy did that one get my husband thinking!)... listen, listen, LISTEN like you're her best buddy and tell her "I understand."
Don't commit to anything... just say, let me think about that.... Hummmm these are things we should discuss with our lawyers... (You're doing her a favor having a lawyer rather than a mediator because you're hiring someone who can quickly and competently get through this)... I'm doing this for you. I want things to go smoothly.... Oooops! Gotta run. Have to be somewhere soon (Never tell her exactly what you're doing. Just seeing some friends... no names).... and "life is GOOD!!!"
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
