No kidding on the LL, I was so fortunately that in the middle of all this crap my wife actually filled out the questionaire in the back of the LL book. I had written in the table of contents what I thought her LL was based on reading the book (I had no clue about that stuff before reading it) and I was happy that what I thought was her LL (acts of service) was correct from how she answered the questions. Problem was I'd been trying to show her love in my LL, physical affection, which is her lowest LL and she'd been trying to show me love in her LL, acts of service, which I couldn't care less about. The LL stuff ought to be taught in schools, along with DBin' and Marriage Fitness.
ST, It is good that your H mentioned his need for you to lay off the work after 11pm instead of just keeping it in and being resentful. I know I was shocked to have my wife tell me last weekend "do you know how many times I cried myself to sleep while you played computer games..." and yet I don't ever remember her telling me to stop playing and come spend time with her, or come to bed and lay with me and talk, she might have gotten angry and yelled at me in frustration which I would have just gotten defensive about and never listened or asked what the "real" issue was. So, a positive thing, even if it cuts your activities short.
Nikki, thanks. I really don't mind watching him, it's just that I would rather learn, or be on the DB site. So I guess I need to just make myself be there sometimes. It's funny him givin me a "curfew".
I can totally see why you would have gotten your hopes up so high. he was doing so many things that would give you a reason too. So much more than my H has ever done. But you can get it back, I promise.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Your totally right JDK.. I was even your W at times as well. But I never did things right either. If you didn't know, I also cheated on my H when we were engaged. We were engaged for 4 or 5 years. he living in OK with his mom and me with s8 at my moms in KS. When he finally found out about what I did...cause he asked me the same night he told me he wanted me as his W forever, he was devastated. I never went all the way, and once we communicated to each other about us getting M finally and where we would live, I ended it. So I definitely have a different viewpoint than most LBS's (is that the right letters?). That was a very long time ago. What kills me is that when I told my H, he was SOOOO mad, cussing me out and stuff. it was the best and worst day of my life. and what killed me was that he thought things were good then. and there was no reason for me to even do it. He said he could understand if I did it after he did, like a revenge thing, but not before. But it was SO not good before. I mean, we lived 3 hours away, saw him 2-4 times a month for 2 days at a time. He had a son that was growing up without him. and we were engaged. If he really wanted to be with us, he could have made it happen. Back then he was paying for porn on the website. $20 bucks a month, but still, that could have gone towards our debt. anyways, didn't mean to go thru that. ugh.
I always think that God let me fall (not saying that I should have, cause I definitely failed that test)for the temptation because it gave me an understanding when it happened to me. If I hadn't of gone thru it, I may had just told H to get the "h*ll out of our house" blah blah.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
your welcome JDK. hey, I hope you hadn't tried to call me today. We were using the phone all day trying to arrange a vacation package we got "sucked up" into. Tried to cancel, but it didn't work. So, if you still want to call, you can call the cell phone anytime now. My minutes are starting over! ya!
Nikki, we really tried to go to Cali, but our free flight vouchers couldn't ever match up with the hotels. ugh. so annoying. so now we were able to get fairly good prices on flights to vegas and we'll be going the same time as friends of his, so that's the plan now.
We do have the free vouchers and they're suppose to extend it another year for us. So maybe next year we'll get to fly up to Cali?!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
ST - aw that's too bad, would've been great to meet you!! Maybe next year, eh?
I hope you have fun in Vegas! How long will you be there? We saw SUCH a cool place there, called Valley of Fire. It's about an hour or maybe 1.5 hours outside of "the strip" so you'd have to rent a car probably, but it was really beautiful. Some old "cave painting" type things to see, and some absolutely spectacular desert landscape. It looked kind of like the surface of Mars - I guess it's been used in a lot of movies for just that.
It may not be worth it if you're only there for a day or two, but we went for 5 days, so we really wanted to get away from the strip and see other things. We also went to Hoover Dam but between the two, I was more impressed by Valley of Fire.
On the trip vouchers, sounds so familiar - we got sucked into one of those too. We ended up not even using them because the rules were so strict (but we also didn't pay for it, just had to sit through an hour presentation, so that was OK).
I'm still very excited for you to go on a vacation. When are you going?
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
ya, hopefully next year! Vegas will be cool. We'll be there 5 days (2 more days than all his friends..luckily they are all married or with someone). I've been to vegas a million times because that's where my grandad lived. He's passed many years ago, but we went almost every three years. So it's not that big of deal to me, but my H has only been there for the funeral so he's never really got to "enjoy" the place yet. Maybe we can make some unforgetable "vegas" memories!
I've never heard of the Valley of Fire. That sounds really cool. Not sure that my H would be interested though. He's not to into the "beauty/nature" thing. But we will probably have a rental, so maybe I can get him to do it!
We sat thru the presentation too, but ended up paying the 700 for their experience package. very stupid. Be VERY glad you didn't spend any money! We have the free vegas trip too, but we don't even want to use it either. On the experience package, we thought we had the whole time to cancel when we actually had to write a letter within 10 days. oh well. we're not even going to be on the strip, but it's suppose to be a really nice resort. we'll see I guess. actually, it probably works out because we won't be with his friends 24/7.
We're going on Labor weekend. Should be crowded as heck though! But at least I kinda know what's around. Plus my grandads girlfriend of 30 years still lives there and maybe we'll get to see her too.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
JDK, that is cool your going to Vegas too! Where are you going to stay? for very long? with some friends?
hey, you can just call me whenever...but I will be at church on Sunday from 8-1pm. talk to you soon!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
ST - I'm sure you guys will have a great time! Hey there's a really crazy fireworks store on the way to Valley of Fire - maybe your H will go just for that.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
