well, there was some spill over from last meeting. But when you haven't seen each other but for 5 total hours in 2+ months, actually talking is healing and good, especially when done correctly - no yelling, no arguing.
Interesting thing, she started to bring up custody. I said, What do you want to do? She said, full physical custody. I said, why do you want to keep our son from his dad? A boy needs his dad. She said, I know but he can't go from house to house each day, it's too confusing. I said, we can do 4 days on and 4 days off or something like that. She said, still too hard for him. I said, "How would you feel if YOU didn't get to see your son but 3 hours a week and eery other weekend, how would you feel?" It was like she got shot in the face, and she started crying a little, and said, "Bad." I said, yeah, it is bad. She quit talking about it. The Pastor even gave her a chance to bring it back up and she didn't. I left it alone for now...
I also gave her a chance to ask me to come get my stuff from the house. I told what our son said one day, "Daddy, where's your luggage?" What luggage S? "The luggage to bring your stuff home when we go home today." Oh, S, I'm not going home today, don't worry. <silence for a few minutes> "Dad, you still have clothes at the house, right?" Yes, S, I think I have some shirts and shorts there. <thinking> "Ok, you can come home and just wear those." (yeah, this kid is 4!!!)
She about lost it when i told her that, and she didn't say, "Oh yeah, come get your [censored]!"
And, she remembered our conversation from last week fairly vividly, she even brought up things we had talked about, to talk about more today. So she's definitely thinking. I just need to get a constant positive influence in her life, so I don't lose her to the negativity between each meeting.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
