You know, I know we're not supposed to have M/R talk, but that's all we talked about last night practically. She was "OK" with it, I mean she talked to me for 3 hours. Is that out of the ordinary?
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Not sure if you could have done anything else, you pretty much took her by suprise with every offer you gave. There is no way she could have been expecting that. I agree, you must be leaving something out from a 3 hour meeting, or was that a 3 hour cruise.
Your looking good.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
First of all, that Nick and Jessica joke has still got me rolling! Second this may sound dumb but your story just reminded me of Desparate Housewives and how this character jumped her ex husband as she was marrying her second husband. It took that long for her to realize she made a mistake! Hang in there! You are doing great!
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Thanks guys, I'm glad you're so positive. It really helps.
My day was brutal I have these meetings with my W and the next day I'm wiped out! I was falling asleep in the office, UA was making me cry, it was rough.
Tomorrow will be better, and the day after that better, and etc.
Should be interesting to see what she comes up with next. I'm ready, whatever it is.
Good night!!!
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
I used to say that. Just seems like I get another twist around every corner.
JR I just need to say that I'm proud of ya man. Damn fine job.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
I used to say that. Just seems like I get another twist around every corner.
JR I just need to say that I'm proud of ya man. Damn fine job.
I am not understanding all the twists and turns with any of our situations, but I do go along with JR, it will make it that much better and stronger when back together.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Well, the twists and turns are there for us to learn something from.
My thing is patience. It just is. I'm slowly but surely getting out of the mindset that I HAVE to have everything NOW. That's the way I was, I never waited for anything even if it meant putting it on my credit card when I didn't have enough money to afford it - just retarded! I have a degree in finance for heaven's sake and I was doing everything wrong in that regard and it was getting really bad, especially when I didn't have the money anymore to back up the spending.
I was also never patient with my W's need to have conversation. I would tune her out so fast because I wanted her to get to the point, that's not how it works (as I'm painfully aware now.) Over the last 2 meetings, I listen, I wait for her to finish, I understand, I empathize, and that takes patience. I think that's partly why I get so wiped out after these meetings is I'm having to use "muscles" I haven't used in a long time or maybe never used.
I have to be patient with my son. He is only 4 I can't expect him to act like an adult. Now that I get to see him so little, I can really SEE and understand what he needs. He needs to see his dad treat his mom right. He needs to hear the calm voices, and not yelling and arguing (the result of impatience on my part). He needs the strong example of how a man is supposed to act, not how a co-dependent, impatient baby acts. It's been truly eye-opening.
So, do you think I would have learned those lessons had I not been thrown into this mess? Do you think I'd learn anything if it was already over and I was back in my house? Of course not. I would be the same as I was. My W said the other night, "I can't go back to what it was!" I said, "I can't either, I won't, we don't have to. We'll move forward together with the lessons we have learned in hand and make our relationship SPECTACULAR with God's help in all things."
She knows we're both learning valuable lessons and they'll help us forge a new life together.
It's going to take time so the MY lessons are well learned and deeply engrained in my core.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Check out these lyrics, really good! I'm beginning to like Keith Urban!
Quote:
Everybody says That when it comes to friends The truest ones are counted on one hand But take a look around Before you hit the ground The only one you'll see will be this man
Yeah I'll catch you when you fall Cause I'm the one who loves you You'll never wonder if I care I'll always be there Standin there in losin' ground I'm your best friend now And I won't let you down…no oh
Yes I've been a fool But I've learned what not to do Don't take for granted those who keep their faith in you And if you lose your way On some rainy day Just look above And I will be the sunshine breakin through
Yeah I'll catch you when you fall Cause I'm the one who loves you You'll never wonder if I care I'll always be there Standin there in losin' ground I'm your best friend now And I won't let you down
And every step along the highway Of your life I'll be the man standing beside you Believe me that I will Don't forget you came and you saved me You saved my life
Yeah I'll catch you when you fall Cause I'm the one who loves you You'll never wonder if I care I'll always be there Standin there in losin' ground Cause I'm your best friend now And I won't let you I will not let you I won't let you down
BTW, I do have 2 tickets to the concert coming up late summer. I will give them to her when the time is right and tell her I want to go with her, but she can take whomever she wants. (This is, OF COURSE, assuming we move forward and she starts some baby steps toward getting back together, otherwise it might be pursuing... we'll see what happens!!!)
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Hi JR! Well it sounds really positive! Important to keep it up now! THe thing you said about being tired because you have to work muscles you haven't in a while is sooo true!! I'm wiped everytime DH leaves. But I'm getting more used to it now. I'm relaxing more AND paying attention, giving LL and taking every chance I get to admire and compliment. What I'm trying to say is that it will stay tiring for a while but thats good. You will learn a new habit by doing so and it will be zapping less energy from you
