Brandnewday asked me to come over for a visit. So here I am.
There must be something in the water in PA. My ex is from State College.
Anyway, the first thing is to find a lawyer that you both like and trust. They are out there. Then I would tell him upfront that you have no money for a divorce. There is a petition that they can file with the court to get your husband to pay (at least for the retainer), but I don't think they can do this unless he has filed for divorce or you have been served. Once you talk to a lawyer they'll explain all that you need to know. The other thing is that if you can agree on an equitable division it really shouldn't cost all that much. Your husband sounds as if he's bullying you. Make sure you understand EVERYTHING before you agree!
As far as custody goes, I would certainly check out the link that oldtimer posted so that you are at least familiar with PA laws before you go to a lawyer.
Document everything. List whatever questions you have and don't agree to anything until you have consulted a lawyer.
If you need anything else or just need some support, I post over in surviving.
I know that this is hard and it's so overwhelming. Believe it or not, when the divorce is over and done, it will be a relief and you will be happy again. Living in limbo is the worst place to be!
