Still Tryin's new thread

[S.T. _I Made It!]

Your totally right JDK.. I was even your W at times as well. But I never did things right either. If you didn't know, I also cheated on my H when we were engaged. We were engaged for 4 or 5 years. he living in OK with his mom and me with s8 at my moms in KS. When he finally found out about what I did...cause he asked me the same night he told me he wanted me as his W forever, he was devastated. I never went all the way, and once we communicated to each other about us getting M finally and where we would live, I ended it. So I definitely have a different viewpoint than most LBS's (is that the right letters?). That was a very long time ago. What kills me is that when I told my H, he was SOOOO mad, cussing me out and stuff. it was the best and worst day of my life. and what killed me was that he thought things were good then. and there was no reason for me to even do it. He said he could understand if I did it after he did, like a revenge thing, but not before. But it was SO not good before. I mean, we lived 3 hours away, saw him 2-4 times a month for 2 days at a time. He had a son that was growing up without him. and we were engaged. If he really wanted to be with us, he could have made it happen. Back then he was paying for porn on the website. $20 bucks a month, but still, that could have gone towards our debt. anyways, didn't mean to go thru that. ugh.

I always think that God let me fall (not saying that I should have, cause I definitely failed that test)for the temptation because it gave me an understanding when it happened to me. If I hadn't of gone thru it, I may had just told H to get the "h*ll out of our house" blah blah.