It is finally out, he wants a D

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Well I think it will get worse before it gets better. He hasn't left yet, don't know when that will actually occur. Says he was going to his father's again before he found and place and I told him he did not need to do that. He is a procrastinator but who knows how long it will take.
Says he did't leave after xmas because of guilt. Guilt is good.

Says he tried for 2 yrs. Bull. Never tried. Just sat around doing nothing. No communication in 2 yrs. That's really working on it.

So hard not to be bitter. I want to tear him a new one for doing this to my kids. 50% custody over my dead body. I told him he didn't even want kids I did, I would never give them to him.

My S11 is very sensitive and emotional. This is going to kill him. He said he would kill us if we ever divorced. And now he wants them 50%? If I am such a bad parent as he says why doesn't he want them full time to protect them from bad old me?

Life will be an awakening for him. A good lesson in what he's done. He's never even bought underwear or made a bed. Mom and I did it. He'll just ask his sister.

Speaking of, I so want to e-mail her to say you win, he is all yours. But I know it will get back to him and he will be furious and it could move things along. But I REALLY want to. Help me curb my bad feelings, please!