BeingMe - Thank you for your kind words. Yes, this has been a very difficult time for me. Especially, since I am more emotional then she is. Although, I knew we werent totally happy in our marriage I took for granted the fact that we we're married we would work everything out. Like I said before, my vows did mean something to me. My parents have been married for 40 yrs and have been through a lot, but never gave up on eachother. I just thought with all the changes we have been going through that she was just adjusting. I thought if she was truly unhappy that she would have talked to me about it before giving up and wanting to leave. Especially, after just having a child together. She does come from a difficult background. Father went to jail for molesting a girlfriend. Stepdad was emotionally abusive for 17 yrs. Anytime, I ever got upset about anything she would just shut down. This whole thing really caught me off guard. Like Michele says about the "walk away wife" syndrome the husband usually never realizes how they feel until they leave. If only they we're given a second chance. All she keeps on saying is that she is emotionally drained. She doesn't have it in her any more to be my wife. That I deserve better. That I deserve to be happy. I'm so tired of her saying that and other people telling that. I was happy. That why I married her and thats why we had a child together less then 2 yrs ago. We have been together for 11yrs. Dated for 4 yrs before I asked her to marry me. I knew what I wanted. Even my couselor is telling me that I deserve better, that I deserve someone that truly loves me for me. Blah Blah! She is a tradional couselor. Freud approach. Not a Brief Couselor. I did read divorce busting and am look ing for a brief couselor in my area. The Chicago area. I also am considering the phone couseling. The bottom line is that I know any relationship I'm in takes work. I also still feel commited to this marriage. We have only been separated for 3 months. How long should I keep on fighting for it. We are in the process of selling our house. She still relies on me to do the bills and watch our daughter whenever work stuff comes up for her. I'm not sure if I should still try to be there for her and be her friend hoping that it will turn into something else or should I "go dark" as you say and give her a taste of what life without me would be like? So many questions. This is still all so new to me right now.
Thank you again your help and advice. Have a nice day.
