Choc, if H changes his mind . . . no not going there, but I'm so glad that when this is all said & done, whether you are w/ W or not, YOU ARE GOING TO STILL BE AWESOME and happy with yourself which is the important thing and, if things don't work out, you will be able to find a new R which will also be wonderful w/ the new & improved Choc.
The other thing that you will have is your self-respect and the knowledge that YOU did the right thing.
The other, distinct possibility is that she's still just underestimating my resolve. And judging from my past history of not sticking to boundaries or tough tasks, I can't really fault her thinking.
She probably thinks that my hard-azz'ness will fade, we'll settle back into our old comfortable ways, and she can pursue the goombah on the side, this time more carefully after learning a trick or two about keeping things hidden. All the while under the guise of a minor reconciliation, coupled with cost-cutting (and efforts at increased income on her part) designed to put us AND her in a better financial place from which to LATER blow up the marriage.
In other words, she may realize that now is not her moment of maximum financial opportunity, so she's hoping to buy some time.
Who knows. I'm moving forward, full-steam, with placing more and more financial responsibility on her, in an effort to strip the Princess of her entitlement garments.
Choc., who just had a fleeting, yet disturbing thought of a naked Snow White
Quit with the mind reading and just do what needs done to protect yourself and your family. Yes, she's following the WAS/MLC script to a "T" and probably will for awhile. Just treat it like any other addiction, 90 day's cold turkey at a minimum (forever when it comes to no contact with previous lovers) and then take it from there.
You're in this for the long haul so get the truck loaded with all the tools and spares and keep an eye out for those tricky natives who for some reason, unknown to you (could have been a previous explorer who done them wrong), want your head on a stick.
Just keep in mind the difference between agression and firm control. "What would Ghandi do?" is a good mind set as he was a stubborn old cute who got what he wanted just by being stubborn.
Doing great and I see a bright future for you with or without the wreck of a woman who called herself your wife for awhile.
Choc, you are doing the right thing. I know this sounds quite cliche, but you seem to have way too much going for you...mentally, emotionally, and physically, to put up with this cr*p. You need someone who appreciates...and wants to have great sex with you...LOL! Just kidding...hey, I've been where you are and I took way too long to get the guts up to take care of myself and never again. You know, if they want someone else, let them have them...along with all the other cr*p that comes along with it. In your case, no money, no security, no you...take care and move forward. She will come running back...
I appreciate the thoughts. The only problem with is, though, is that she WILL largely get what she wants, financially. Since we are considered a "long-term marriage" (15+ years), in Florida, she will most likely get half of what I earn, in alimony, for the rest of my working life. Plus child support if she should defeat me in getting custody of my boys.
So she'll be all set nicely. Other than the $$$$ (which seems to be all she cares about), yeah, she'll be a lonely, sick puppy. As Lou Rawls used to drone, "You'll never find . . . another love like mine!"
