Thanks for clarifying. I can identify with having a wife who is driven. Mine was going great guns and everything I did tanked. But I knew a good thing when I had. Unfortunately, I allowed myself to think everything was good as if having a husband who could smoke mass quantities of pot is a good thing! Oh well. Over and done. I had the bruises and that's that. Can't go back now.
With this clarification, I can see where you might think MLC. But then, this seems to go beyond the current stage and is more of a life pattern, i.e. several failed businesses. My guess is that the failures were really his own fault. I could be wrong. At least, I never blamed my W for my shortdomings. As for OW, I am not sure what to say. It does seem that he was detaching from you for a while, so finding the R may not have been so quick.
As for popping your H, I can understand. But the problem is that you really can't do much about what another person does. I know you get that. So who knows what will happen in your situation. No one can tell. But your H fails to look in the mirror. This is not a sudden occurrence. And if he doesn't look, there is no way he can fix it. And there is noway to fix an R under such circumstances. It's a whole new ball game.
I have been coming here for a long time. SOme marriages are repaired. Many are not. One way or the other, we survive. and get stronger. And no matter what, most get on with their lives. You'll be ok.
My first H asked me to take him back after we D and he was re-married to Ow! It took about 2 years after the D was final for him to realize he made a mistake.
By that time I told him forget it! I was happy with my new life and no longer wanted to work it out.
So yes they do come back! It is usually up to the LBS if they want them back or not. BTW, my xh is still married to Ow , BUT ONLY b/c I didn't want him anymore!!!
It is important NOT to focus on whether or not they come back. It is more important to focus on yourself and get your life in order. Getting healthy emotionally and physically. Protecting your assets and finances. Taking care of the kids.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
