Frank - as always thanks for your perspective, and for your positive words, i have read 'Way of the Superior Man' - funny enough 6 months before the bomb, although its unrelated. I have actually bought the book as gifts for 3 different friends, and recommended it to 3 others.
So I had another big day today, lots of things to report. Today was family therapy session #2.
The therapist opened up with "so how do you two want to proceed?" - i let my wife take this question, and she answered "that she thought about it hard and did not want to work on it right now, and can't see how that would help." She wanted to move forward with the seperation, and that she feels thats the only way she can get clarity in this. He asked her if the OP was still around, and he mentioned it would be difficult to get clarity with that. She said she knew.
He then started talking about seperation, and asked the tough question about what we meant when we said seperation. Did we mean seperation to get space and find clarity and possibly get back together, or seperation as a stepping stone to a eventual divorce. She answered this one as well. She repeated that she thought it was a seperation for clarity, as she was really confused, and wasn't ready to say divorce (please don't read too much into this guys). So our therapist recommended something that I had never considered. I'm not 100% sure that i like it as an option, but it sounds good for the girls.
- We rent a place, that my wife and I split. Our kids stay stable at the house, while only I would go to the seperation house on my days without the kids, and she would go on her days without the kids.
Anyways, it sounds really good for the kids, but i'm not sure if it gives myself or my wife the space we need. I'm not reading too much into this, and I told my wife that while I understand that she is confused, I don't want to feel like I'm waiting around for her to get hit by some wave of emotion that may or may not come. And that I could only feel comfortable with this option if we both felt we were moving forward (with no clear destination) without undue stress or expectations on our relationship. I basically said I can't be expected to wait around and put my life on hold while she figures stuff out and dates another man.
She said she understood, and she knows she could lose me and this guy, but she feels like she really needs space and to be alone. I tryed not to push to much on how I felt talking to another man kind of eliminates that space she wants. Anyways, at the very least it feels like our situation is changing, better or worse I don't know, at least the change will stir things up.
Crazy times.
Anyways, tommorow my new boat gets delivered, so i'm not going to think about this too much for a few days.
