OM/PA, MLC and the hits keep coming............

[andyv]

Saddadinkc,

Promise me you will not ask her again. It doesn't matter if it is OM or not. It is out of your control what she does or who she is with.

Don't even bring him up again, you know he is there, she knows you know, so stop torturing yourself. These affairs have a shelf life, it may last a bit longer than normal, or may fizzle out tomorrow, you don't know, so don't let it affect your life.

U have to make yourself a better option to be with than OM. At the moment, he is fun to be with, has no responsibilites, is living it up with your W. As much as it hurts, you cannot do anything about it.

The only thing you control is you own well being. Keep yourself happy and do the things you want to do for now. Keep busy and you will see that things will get easier for you emotionally.

[EmtnRllrCstr]

Andy,

Sorry to hear about your team mate. I know from my old roommate that was a huge game. Sorry to hear that you lost your bragging rights this year.

Glad to hear your PMA. I need a little of it to rub off on me. I went to my L today and had to contact the OMW, so I am a littlebit down rightnow.

Takecare,
ERC

[saddadinkc]

I know. I just get sooo pissed that she continues to lie. I promise cross my heart and hope to die stick a needle not to ask her or show her that I give a good sh** what she's up to. I knew I shouldn't have said a thing the second I said it. Here is the deal, I took my last vacation day to parent my child because she was desperate to find someone she trusts. (I might not cut it as a husband in her eyes but I'm a he*l of a "babysitter", her words.) I love every opportunity to spend time with my child. I'm training for a triathalon and I can only run in eve. and early mornings to get the distances I want. The thing that piss** me off is that I keep falling for the "poor me" crap. She knows I would never let my daughter suffer for her and she uses that to her advantage. No good deed goes unpunished i guess. Iknow its a control issue and I have to let it go. What does anyone think about going dark and un available?

[DadNotQuitting]

I have done a great job detaching and going "lovingly" dark,

For all you guys struggling to detach from your W's, I would suggest giving it a real go, as I have found it easier and easier the longer I go. And I have found that I am getting more sleep and my PMA has remained on course.

Also, my sitch that was going a million miles an hour just two weeks ago, has slowed down considerably. Possibly the calm before the storm, or turning a corner, who knows?

I cannot control her, but I can manage her.

Great observations. I'm with you on this, even if we don't like the detachment, the darkness, at some point it seems to become the only option. I'm five days into my darkness, and while I hate it, at least the drama has screeched to a stop. And those of you familiar with my sitch know the drama was in overdrive. So yeah, I wonder as well if it is the calm before the storm or turning the corner. Only time will tell.

Remember, you cannot do anything to improve the situation right now, but there's a whole lot you can do to make it worse. Go dark, stay dark.

[Dr LOve]

andyv
I have 3 gifts hidden. are you saying I should hold off on giving her these? It's 10:30 pm and she has not called yet. I again asked my son if he wanted to cal. He told me he had nothing to say wait till she calls.
It's hard because calling is something I would normaly do.

I'm trying to stay strong.
Should I give the remaining gifts or not. I may go to my thread and get second opinions

Husband.

[saddadinkc]

AndyV, thanks for your good advice and support. Its tough as you know. I think you're doing great! I will not contact her or get my hopes up. It's funny how everyone can see the train coming but the standing on the tracks