Quit with the mind reading and just do what needs done to protect yourself and your family. Yes, she's following the WAS/MLC script to a "T" and probably will for awhile. Just treat it like any other addiction, 90 day's cold turkey at a minimum (forever when it comes to no contact with previous lovers) and then take it from there.
You're in this for the long haul so get the truck loaded with all the tools and spares and keep an eye out for those tricky natives who for some reason, unknown to you (could have been a previous explorer who done them wrong), want your head on a stick.
Just keep in mind the difference between agression and firm control. "What would Ghandi do?" is a good mind set as he was a stubborn old cute who got what he wanted just by being stubborn.
Doing great and I see a bright future for you with or without the wreck of a woman who called herself your wife for awhile.
