Oh the roller coaster...

[catfan]

Tonight my wife and I sat down together to go through our financial accounts and work through their split and complete the paperwork. Well that took all of 20 minutes. We were both upbeat during conversation and if you were sitting with us you would have thought we were any married couple working on paying our bills and managing our finances like good partners.

While I was signing all of the paperwork she kept looking away. I could tell she was really holding back emotions. So once done I flat out asked if she was ok. She said yes and I looked her in the eye and I told her, honey I can tell something is disturbing you. She said no again and I just looked at her.

So we were done fast and because the reaction I saw in her I decided to venture into possible dangerous territory. I told her that our conversation last Wednesday was probably the most honest conversation we had ever had. She agreed. I told her I felt really good afterward and that we made significant progress. She agreed. I then told her we have made an enormous amount of progress this last month and I realize she needs a break, some space. She said yes that is probably a good way to describe it. I told her I would hope that we can continue along this path and she agreed as well. So I brought up our separation agreement and that I realized we needed it so we know what to expect. I went on to say it's a wonderful opportunity for us to work on a real issue in our marriage, conflict resolution. She thought this was a good idea. So our conversation went on from there for another 15 minutes or so.

So the outcome of our conversation, we both care and that's why we were sitting here together. We both would like to work towards reconciliation but realize we have to plan for divorce. She needs a bit of space right now because she feels pressure. Surprising not just from me but from herself! Wow that's a revelation! Well her trip next week will help her get the space she needs and it looks like after that we may pick up where we left off.

In talking about how we proceed I told her that if she ever feels pressure just say so. Tell me we need to take a short break so she can catch her breath. She thought that might be a good idea especially since we know we have to work on communication. But only if I realize her intentions with such a comment. In other words she struggles with my mood swings.

From there she asked me if I would help her with a couple of things she needed help with. One was her new headboard and we worked together to get it installed. She told me all about her plan on "her" bedroom. She asked me how I like the decoration and I approved. I actually told her it was a room I would be comfortable living in and she laugh a bit and smiled at me.

From there we went and got our girls from vacation bible school then had a quick dinner together. And we enjoyed just being together.

So there we both approached tonight with a spirit of cooperation and a lot of good came from it. But I do feel that a lot of the mood was also influenced by me first apologizing for inadvertently slamming the door when I left last night(she thought I was mad at her when I was just in a hurry) and also just engaging her in small talk as we worked.

So nice to know we can have positives even when dealing with difficult topics.