Promise me you will not ask her again. It doesn't matter if it is OM or not. It is out of your control what she does or who she is with.
Don't even bring him up again, you know he is there, she knows you know, so stop torturing yourself. These affairs have a shelf life, it may last a bit longer than normal, or may fizzle out tomorrow, you don't know, so don't let it affect your life.
U have to make yourself a better option to be with than OM. At the moment, he is fun to be with, has no responsibilites, is living it up with your W. As much as it hurts, you cannot do anything about it.
The only thing you control is you own well being. Keep yourself happy and do the things you want to do for now. Keep busy and you will see that things will get easier for you emotionally.
AndyV M38 W36 D7 M 13 years Together 17 years W wants D mid Dec 06 (ring off) W wants separation early Jan 07 (she backdated to Oct 06) EA revealed end March 07 (Nov 06 W first meeting with OM) Hallmark moment "I care for you but am no longer in love with you."
