OM/PA, MLC and the hits keep coming............

[andyv]

Hi NSP,

Thx for stopping by.

Once you take the "secrecy" away re OM, it becomes just a normal relationship. Sort of takes the euphoria and romance away from them. Your W will probably do what ever she want's to do with OM regardless of whether you let go or not. It is beyond your control. If you push too hard, it will make OM a better proposition.

The big thing for me was doing all the things I wasn't allowed to do when I was M. I am spending more time with my family and friends. Am playing golf alot more, going to sports functions, spending more quality time with DD, seeing my family more, advancing myself at work etc etc.

If you keep yourself busy, you will find that you will not have enough time to worry about what W may or may not be doing. You are flat out managing your own life without her.

Also, I have found that I am a more attractive option to be with now that I have let go and am GALing (compared to being the needy, depressed and loving doormat after she dropped the Bomb, and trying to get her back, snooping, instigating R talks, going to her family etc etc).

Its funny, but even her best friend (post MLC), who is 12 years younger than W, prefers to spend time with me and my friends than with W. The tides are turning my friend, and the secret is to get your confidence back.

I look back on my life with W and see that everything I did was for her, when I think about it, my whole life revolved around her happiness. I never expected anything in return.

So after reading all the success stories, and numerous books and articles, this will take a long time, and I want to make sure that I am in the best emotional and physical state regardless of whether she comes back or not.

Like I said before, from history (in other peoples sitches) you cannot stop what is going to happen with OM, I am sorry about that. If you are willing to forgive and forget in the future, if or when W decides to return, that will be up to you. But you cannot worry about things that are "beyond your control". So my advice would be just let her go, it will get easier for you.

Trust me, I was the most controlling and jealous person alive before my sitch. So if I can do it, anybody can.