I don't think I've ever posted to you. But I saw your post about your W. And how she's cycling (at least to me that's what it appears to be.) back and forth between you and the OM.
I agree with Jack on this: "The hard part is when they start wanting to hang around you AND they are slowly letting go of the OM/OW."
It is the hardest part. My H's OW was in the picture off and on for a while. Even just non-chalantly through work she was, still around for my H to say "hi" to.
I looked at like this:
Everyone here has told me the OP is like a band-aid for whatever "ails" the WAS. And when the WAS starts inching their way back to the LBS the band-aid starts to come off. And remember they are like children, so that band-aid never wants to be ripped off so to speak. The WAS starts at first to rip it off, and pick at it. And to avoid the pain, they leave it alone. And it slowly starts to fall off. Bit by bit. Eventually it does come off, but it has to be at their pace.
I understand your frustration and anger about what your W did. Trust me I know it well. My H was getting text messages from OW periodically throughout our healing, and it was hard. I got angry, I cried. Even just recently H told me he was saying "hi" to her in passing. And to him I'm sure it seems harmless, but for me it was more than that. But, now he's transferred to a different department away...completely away from her. So, I feel much better these past several days.
But, again on the other hand...I understand the need to keep your sanity. It's not easy doing this DB thing, and trying to hold your life together on a thin thread. If this is what you need to do, and what works the best for you don't let anyone make up your mind for you. This is your life.
I'm just letting you know, that this road is the one less traveled. It gets bumpy, it's uphill. You and your W will stumble and fall. And no one said it would be easy. It hasn't been for me, and my H wanted "us" back last February. We've managed to pick the pieces up and start to put them back together.
Be still and listen. If this is what's right...then do it.
RU
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. - David Viscott
