It's okay to realize your weaknesses. That's probably the first step to building back up again.
I hate to say this, but my guess is that your husband either is having an A or wants to have one. From what I've read most men don't easily leave a marriage unless there's another relationship. And this would explain the changes in him. (i.e. trying to pull away from you, changing into a "different" person, cold and distant...).
I know that's a painful thought, but you have to STOP WORRYING ABOUT HIM and focus on you. Give him lots of leash, give him distance and space to figure out what he wants. In the meantime you just focus on yourself and your kids. They are still young!!!
Enjoy the compliments of OM you meet, but try not to take any of it seriously --and do not get involved with anyone! I know that can be tough for some women. But you are no where near a place for that and I think it would be really unhealthy for your kids. So work on yourself and enjoy your children!!! They will be grown up and gone very quickly and focusing on them will give them the time and love they need from you while at the same time giving you the time to work on yourself. Then, when the last one is 18 (in only five years from now!!!) you'll either be ready for an awesome relationship -- with either your current husband or a someone new. No baggage, and a stronger, independent and more interesting woman!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
