Sorry you have found yourself here.... but this is a good place to be, under the circumstances. There are lots of wise people here that can give you good advice and lots of support.
In response to your post..... don't beat yourself up.... It sounds like he got an answer to his question.... he doesn't have to worry about paying the L, so he's now off to plan his adventure and not worry about the $ crunch. You're being far kinder than I'd be able to be.
Hang in there and PRAY!
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
