H kinda came outta the dark, but he's gone again

[Ophelia]

I used to have a thread over on Infidelity, but haven't posted for a little while, so am gonna start a new thread in here, if you all will have me.

Recap of my sitch:
Me: 29
H: 29
Together: 10 years
Married: 5 years
No kids
H left Oct 3 '06.
Told me he'd started seeing someone new: Jan 19th '07.
I lost it completely when he told me, (which he did via an email, which had otherwise been friendly, and he signed it off "Have a good weekend" after dropping OW bomb, then wouldn't take any of my calls which just made me angrier), and after that he told one of our mutual friends, (one of his workmates, who was best man at our wedding) that he never wanted any contact with me ever again.

Not long after that, I started getting letters from his lawyer about a Property Settlement, (he can't file for D until we've been separated for 12 months, so this is the most he can do for now). That is at the stage now where I have the forms to sign, but I haven't signed them yet, and I've had them for probably a couple of months now.

The forms from his lawyer is really the only contact we'd had, if you can even call it that, since the end of January. We haven't seen each other or spoken since Christmas Eve last year, (I miss him like crazy!!!).

On May 8th, I got an email from him. Very brief, only a couple of sentences. His parents, (who I still see once a month or so) had been at my place for a visit a couple of days previously and I'd told them about some health issues my dad had been having. The email from H just said that his mum had told him about it and he hoped my dad was OK. He also made a brief comment about a TV show we both watch, and that was it.

I replied, all friendly and casual and stuff. Then I didn't expect a reply, so nearly fell off my chair when I actually got one! And it was several paragraphs long, no less!

He did make brief mention of the legal forms. Basically said that he wasn't trying to rush me, he just wanted to know if there was anything in particular that was holding it up. I said that I'd sign the forms, "when I'm good and ready", but the rest of my reply was perfectly friendly.

I got yet another reply, which was once again friendly, and he made no further mention of the forms.

The email exchange continued over the following weeks, and one of the subjects we ended up on was his trip to Africa. He can't really afford it, but he set himself the goal to climb Kilimanjaro by his 30th birthday, (which will be Oct 31st), so he's going even though it'll just heap more debt onto what he's already got. After talking a bit about his trip, he added:

In saying that, it would kinda be useful to know how I am financially for that, so although given everything going on at the moment I don't want to push you, it would help planning if I had an idea when I need to pay everything up that I need to the lawyers.

My response to that particular part of his email was:
As for paying up for the legal junk, I honestly can't give you an actual date when the forms will be signed by. That being said, it's not like there's some urgent deadline on it, as property settlements can be filed for up to 12 months after a divorce is final. On the other hand, paying for your Africa trip, (and your gym membership to get ready for the Africa trip) DOES have a deadline on it. So it'd make practical sense for you to focus on paying for that stuff now,and worry about the legal crap later. Don't worry, I won't spring it on you unexpectedly and demand my 2.5 grand STAT when I already know you've got other big payments to make.

I sent that one last Friday, and am yet to receive any kind of response. Was I too blunt, do you think? Have I scared him off again?

I wasn't expecting too much from this ongoing, friendly exchange of emails that had been playing out over the last several weeks. My brother plays on the same recreational football team as H, so I know that he made mention of OW just last week, so I know they're still together, (as far as he, and his buddies - who used to also be my friends BTW, so it pisses me off to no end that they've just dropped me and are probably best buddies with OW now - are concerned, he's in a perfectly healthy R with OW and has just "moved on with his life"). To be honest, I'm currently obsessing that something horrible is gonna happen like her ending up pregnant, but I try not to think about it too much.

Anyway, even though I didn't expect much to result from the emails, I'm finding myself disappointed that they seem to have stopped, and I'm beating myself up a bit over having been too blunt in my reply. I didn't want to piss him off, but maybe referring to the legal stuff as "crap" and "junk" and making reference to not springing it on him outta the blue, (which was kinda snide, I admit...I included that bit because he did spring the Property Settlement on me outta the blue, not to mention his OW bomb), has pissed him off, so now he's decided he doesn't wanna be friends anymore...again.