W and I will definately have that talk together. We will present this whole situation to our kids together. She will have to think through what and how she wants this told, as will I. Previously, she said she didn't care who knew, well, now the time is fast approaching and she's going to have to deal with the real thing. I have told her that I will not be exposing her to anyone who doesn't already know, as we work in the same field and I would never do anything to cause her professional problems. But, yes, her family back in China are all evangelical Christians so she's gonna have to figure out what to tell them! I do know that I will NOT shame her, I believe she can do that well enough on her own without my help! I also happen to believe it is not right nor useful to shame others.
